Learn how to navigate tough feedback like a high performer. Whether you're dealing with shallow critiques or blunt executive feedback, this post offers actionable insights to help you stay motivated, take control of your narrative, and turn criticism into success. Discover the strategies that separate middle management from leadership, including tips for managing up, building alliances, and channeling frustration into results.
“It was about taking control of my narrative, managing up, and finding the right allies to unblock critical work.”
I’m glad you mentioned this, especially the part about finding the right allies, because so often it’s the lack of connections/relationships that prevents progress.
This post also reminds me of what you said about how reactivity can kill your career. I’m trying not to take things personally in an “I feel personally attacked” type of way. I want to focus more on ensuring a project serves its intended audience well… rather than serving my ego.
Vanessa, thank you for this! This is so spot on. Sometimes when you're stuck, you don't realize that another person can easily help remove a barrier. Two heads are better than one in that sense. You have the ideas, the ability to execute, and sometimes the thing missing is a little influence if you're hitting a wall.
And the "I feel personally attacked" feeling is me to a T lol. I am STILL working on it. It's the gift and curse of caring about your work and holding yourself to a high standard.
this is so beautiful and leads with deep vulnerability. thank you for sharing your experience and the wisdom you gained from it. you'll save countless others, who will in turn, pass on this wisdom. thank you.
Thank you Karl!! My hope is that putting my story out there will help others realize it's not just them. Experiences like this can feel so isolating in the moment! But they're universal and we can work through them if we have the right tools.
Thanks for the story! I’m curious if looking back, what would you do differently if you could go back (to when you got that email) knowing what you know now?
Such a great question! Honestly, looking back, I’d take a step back from the urge to immediately defend myself. Instead, I’d send a quick message: 'Hey [CFO’s name]—I haven’t had the chance to share an update on [project]. Let’s sync.' Then, I’d walk over to their desk to deliver the update in person. Or if that wasn’t possible, I’d hop on a quick call or Zoom.
At the time, I had done the work, but my instinct to prove that in the moment only fed into the spiral. By syncing with the CFO directly, I could’ve clarified the situation, diffused the tension, and aligned on next steps right away.
After syncing, I’d follow up with an email summarizing our conversation to close the loop for everyone cc’d. This approach has worked well for me since that experience.
And honestly, sometimes I still spiral—when I do, that’s okay too lol. I vent in a group chat, get it out of my system, and then channel that frustration into the work.
Another great post, Ashley!
“It was about taking control of my narrative, managing up, and finding the right allies to unblock critical work.”
I’m glad you mentioned this, especially the part about finding the right allies, because so often it’s the lack of connections/relationships that prevents progress.
This post also reminds me of what you said about how reactivity can kill your career. I’m trying not to take things personally in an “I feel personally attacked” type of way. I want to focus more on ensuring a project serves its intended audience well… rather than serving my ego.
Vanessa, thank you for this! This is so spot on. Sometimes when you're stuck, you don't realize that another person can easily help remove a barrier. Two heads are better than one in that sense. You have the ideas, the ability to execute, and sometimes the thing missing is a little influence if you're hitting a wall.
And the "I feel personally attacked" feeling is me to a T lol. I am STILL working on it. It's the gift and curse of caring about your work and holding yourself to a high standard.
this is so beautiful and leads with deep vulnerability. thank you for sharing your experience and the wisdom you gained from it. you'll save countless others, who will in turn, pass on this wisdom. thank you.
Thank you Karl!! My hope is that putting my story out there will help others realize it's not just them. Experiences like this can feel so isolating in the moment! But they're universal and we can work through them if we have the right tools.
Thanks for the story! I’m curious if looking back, what would you do differently if you could go back (to when you got that email) knowing what you know now?
Such a great question! Honestly, looking back, I’d take a step back from the urge to immediately defend myself. Instead, I’d send a quick message: 'Hey [CFO’s name]—I haven’t had the chance to share an update on [project]. Let’s sync.' Then, I’d walk over to their desk to deliver the update in person. Or if that wasn’t possible, I’d hop on a quick call or Zoom.
At the time, I had done the work, but my instinct to prove that in the moment only fed into the spiral. By syncing with the CFO directly, I could’ve clarified the situation, diffused the tension, and aligned on next steps right away.
After syncing, I’d follow up with an email summarizing our conversation to close the loop for everyone cc’d. This approach has worked well for me since that experience.
And honestly, sometimes I still spiral—when I do, that’s okay too lol. I vent in a group chat, get it out of my system, and then channel that frustration into the work.