The 5 Habits That Make You Look Less Senior Than You Actually Are
The subtle signals you’re sending up, down, and across your organization and how they influence your reputation far more than you realize.
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Work is complex, career advice shouldn’t be. I’m Ashley Rudolph and I write this newsletter for people who are ready for the next level in their careers. Reframed readers describe the experience best:
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My move day is fast approaching!! Send good energy my way, we’re almost there.
Packing has a way of turning your home into a tiny little time capsule.
Mine is filled with letters and cards from old friends. Printed photos I forgot existed. Stacks of journals from eras that simultaneously feel like yesterday and forever ago.
I even found my old Prada phone (lol).
Anyway, yesterday I combed through an old journal I took with me to Mexico City in summer 2023. I flipped through page after page and stopped at a letter to myself scribbled inside. I could tell I was trying to make sense of being stuck in the messy middle. At the time I thought I was so deeply unsure of what path I wanted to pursue next. When I was in the middle of it, I felt so lost. But that letter was clear as day. It predicted exactly the life I’m living now.
Wild.
And then there was another gem. A written performance review from one of my first internships. The feedback was very high-achiever coded:
“Ashley’s smart, productive, reliable, creative…her team has consistently been impressed by the quality of her work. She works hard and is always willing to come in an day when her team is working on an important deliverable”
A++
And then the part that made me laugh:
“She should treat this like a job, not just an internship. She should network during downtime. She’s incredibly intelligent — but not enough people know it.”
That was me in 2007: capable as hell, doing great work…and way too quiet about it. Once I actually listened and started building relationships, I got a full-time offer six months later. That feedback didn’t just change my internship, it changed the trajectory of my career.
Reading it reminded me of something I see over and over with high performers:
It’s usually not your talent holding you back. It’s the small habits you don’t realize are sending the wrong signals.
So I wrote about a few habits that come up a lot for high achievers. I apologize in advance if any of them hit a little too close to home. Trust me - I’ve been there too!
Let’s get into it.
Two Mistakes You’re Making With Your Boss
Constantly complaining
Let me start by saying there’s nothing wrong with raising a real issue! In the right context, it shows you are thinking strategically. If your goal is advancement - you have to know what to escalate. When every concern gets funneled upward without any framing or context, it’s no longer insight. Leaders begin to experience you not as someone who can help them think through problems, but as someone who hands them more. And once that shift happens, it’s incredibly hard to reposition yourself. Don’t believe me? It’s such an issue for managers that there’s an entire article on HBR about managing complainers (ouch!). Unfortunately, it’s a pattern that leads to becoming someone who needs to be managed vs. someone who can be consulted, be an advisor, or be trusted to take on new challenges.
Not using 1:1 time strategically
It’s easy to treat your 1:1s like a recurring meeting you simply show up for — no agenda, minimal intention, just whatever’s top of mind and good vibes. But when you do that, you’re giving up the chance to steer how your work is perceived and how your manager sees you. These conversations shape your reputation more than you think, which is why a little intention goes a long way. Think about:
What’s the one thing you want them to walk away remembering?
Where do you want to steer their perception of you?
How can you make their job easier and, in turn, elevate your standing?
Strategic 1:1s signal that you’re not only doing the work, you’re managing up and thinking ahead.
Two Mistakes You’re Making With Your Team
Getting too vulnerable
There’s a difference between being human and making your team hold emotional weight they didn’t sign up for. Let’s look at these statements:
❌ “I’m incredibly overwhelmed and stressed and I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off.”
✅ “Hey, I know this is tough but it’s temporary. We’ll see it through, etc etc”
The first signals that you can’t see a path forward. The second acknowledges the (tough) reality but keeps them focused on the goal. Leadership comes with moments that feel isolating and it can be tempting to open up — doing so can even feel like bonding! But part of the job is knowing what to hold and what to share. I posted a note about this last week, it’s something I feel strongly about →
Venting down
Like vulnerability, it’s worth being mindful about how and when you blow off steam with your team. Being honest is helpful; giving them a front-row seat to leadership drama or company chaos usually isn’t. It leaves people stressed about things they can’t fix and that stress inevitably pulls focus away from the work they’re actually responsible for.
WORK WITH ME →
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay…I might be doing one or two of these”, let’s talk.
I help high achievers tighten up how they lead, get more visible, and stop getting in their own way. If you want support or a place to think things through, book some time with me and we’ll see if we’re a fit.
One Mistake You’re Making With Your Peers
Venting too much
It usually starts small: one frustration, one shared “ugh, same”, and suddenly you’re throwing shade at everything and everyone every day. You start to build a little haven where everything is annoying, broken, or politically messy.
It feels good because it’s validating…but it quietly narrows your perspective.
When all your conversations revolve around what’s wrong, you start believing everything is wrong. And that, by default, you’re always right. That mindset will absolutely stall your growth.
A healthier balance? Vent when you need to. But make sure you have peers who will challenge your thinking, not just co-sign it. And if you’re looking for some advice on what to do instead of complaining, try the tips in this article.
These are all small behaviors, but they add up fast. They shape how people experience you, whether leadership trusts you, and whether anyone can actually picture you in the next role (especially if it’s a leadership role).
If you’ve made any of these mistakes, it’s okay. Building awareness is the first step :)
Good luck! See you on Thursday.
PS - if you want to dig deeper, here are a few related pieces I’ve written:
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The complaining conundrum is so real. It's a totally human impulse, especially if your interpersonal dynamic is comfortable, but it *really* throws off toxic energy. Major pet peeve as a leader!
On 1 on 1s, what's advice you might give someone who's struggling to get genuine feedback with that time? Since adding them to my routine to open the floor for notes on my performance, I'm told I'm doing well, but then find out months later about all the ways I could be doing better once things have piled up. It's been discouraging 😕