The need to bring one’s “whole self to work” was always so weird to me. This is why professionalism has suffered imo, your work self cannot be the same as your friend self! I’d also add the misguided approach many younger ppl have around understanding carefully networking and collegial relationships and how that’s so important for the future of their careers. They frame this as “I do my work and go home, I’m not here to make friends.” Like… you’ll need ppl to vouch for you in future job recommendations, you absolutely need to socialize and make some impression on your colleagues and bosses.
All of this!!! I hate the whole self conversation, it is bizarre. I'd argue that crafting a work persona is a skill, just like networking, and relationship building. A skill that (some) have disregarded as unnecessary because they don't understand the value in it or haven't developed the skill. It's so critical for all the reasons you mentioned. As always, I appreciate your POVs!
This is why I’m happy to mentor and give recommendations to younger people and colleagues when I can. They need to stop listening to this nonsense! The smart ones are proactive and know how to build relationships.
Super interesting though - I work at a big company, and our Gen Z employees are dying to come to work so they can make friends! I think with the loneliness pandemic, that generation is struggling to meet people :/
CONGRATS on the wedding, love the dress!!! Did I read on Platonic Love that you two found each other Materialists-style via matchmaker?! Can someone interview you about this please?
Also, yes to the HBR article, another substacker I love (Tara Shuster) wrote about this in her second book. She called it "Mission to Mars" - saying you want the people next to you focused on the job, while still being kind to each other. Hard to balance when workplaces are actively making life harder for employees, but I'd love more of your thoughts on this concept!
I haven’t read her book, so I’m not familiar with the concept. But I do think it’s possible to be kind, while still being productive/results oriented. Also agree that the landscape is shifting and things are challenging at work.
In general, I am opposed to the idea that it has to be a binary where either work is competitive/toxic/“just about getting things done” or a family-like utopia where people don’t get things done!
The need to bring one’s “whole self to work” was always so weird to me. This is why professionalism has suffered imo, your work self cannot be the same as your friend self! I’d also add the misguided approach many younger ppl have around understanding carefully networking and collegial relationships and how that’s so important for the future of their careers. They frame this as “I do my work and go home, I’m not here to make friends.” Like… you’ll need ppl to vouch for you in future job recommendations, you absolutely need to socialize and make some impression on your colleagues and bosses.
All of this!!! I hate the whole self conversation, it is bizarre. I'd argue that crafting a work persona is a skill, just like networking, and relationship building. A skill that (some) have disregarded as unnecessary because they don't understand the value in it or haven't developed the skill. It's so critical for all the reasons you mentioned. As always, I appreciate your POVs!
This is why I’m happy to mentor and give recommendations to younger people and colleagues when I can. They need to stop listening to this nonsense! The smart ones are proactive and know how to build relationships.
Super interesting though - I work at a big company, and our Gen Z employees are dying to come to work so they can make friends! I think with the loneliness pandemic, that generation is struggling to meet people :/
I love that!! I feel like my formative work relationships were built in my 20s - so being able to build those connections are so important.
CONGRATS on the wedding, love the dress!!! Did I read on Platonic Love that you two found each other Materialists-style via matchmaker?! Can someone interview you about this please?
Also, yes to the HBR article, another substacker I love (Tara Shuster) wrote about this in her second book. She called it "Mission to Mars" - saying you want the people next to you focused on the job, while still being kind to each other. Hard to balance when workplaces are actively making life harder for employees, but I'd love more of your thoughts on this concept!
I haven’t read her book, so I’m not familiar with the concept. But I do think it’s possible to be kind, while still being productive/results oriented. Also agree that the landscape is shifting and things are challenging at work.
In general, I am opposed to the idea that it has to be a binary where either work is competitive/toxic/“just about getting things done” or a family-like utopia where people don’t get things done!
I’ll have to check Tara’s book out.