Open Tabs: The Death of the Girl Boss Era, Workplace Revenge, and Why Work Sucks When No One Has a Social Life Anymore
Welcome to Open Tabs — my biweekly roundup of what I’ve been reading, learning from, and quietly obsessing over. It’s a mix of cultural commentary, practical frameworks to help you level up your leadership, and some work-adjacent chaos sprinkled in for entertainment. Most importantly, I curate these letters because it’s fun; the articles I select make me think, gasp, or holler and I hope they do the same for you too.
This week’s edition features articles from NYT, Slate, Forbes, Stylist, and Derek Thompson. Total read time: <8 mins.
Now, let’s open some tabs.
My Open Tabs
→ THE ARTICLES I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS WEEK
Open Tab #1: From Girl Boss to No Boss (NYT)
I wrote about millennial midlife crises a few weeks ago and I think the larger trend is that for millennials and gen X, our careers are starting to shift away from traditional norms in significant ways. Take me for example, the article perfectly describes the professional era I’m in right now.
Former “girl boss” - check!
Pursuing solopreneurship - check!
Appreciates newfound freedom, flexibility, and escaping restrictive corporate structures - check!
I’ve embraced the change. But, I also truly believe that there’s more than one path to success for working women right now. Some of us can’t, won’t, or don’t need a “power pause” to have a successful or fulfilling career. And that is GREAT! Some women were forced out of the workplace, desperately want to re-enter, and are having a hard time getting back “in”. And honestly, it sucks.
I love that there’s a new way to work that’s resonating with so many of us, but if I’ve learned anything from being a coach, it’s that everyone’s path will look different.
I’m craving more conversation about the spectrum of what ambition looks like today. Are we ready to have a real conversation about the fact that there’s no one archetype for success? Or are we just swapping out one narrative (girl boss) for another (the no boss era)? Discuss. All opinions are welcome!
Open Tab #2: Apparently, it’s Revenge Week (Slate)
They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I’ll take it at any temperature because however you serve it — it’s going to be sweet. If you don’t know me well, I am petty. Which is why when I stumbled upon Slate’s Revenge Week content, I couldn’t help but wonder if they established this fateful holiday just for me. They cover what your brain looks like on revenge, spoiler alert: it looks eerily similar to addiction (kind of scary!). And while I personally do not condone the tactics outlined in this other Revenge Week piece, I have to admit that reading through some of the ways people have gotten revenge at work felt like I was watching a juicy reality tv show.
Here’s my take: people don’t daydream about revenge (or launch a revenge plot) just because they’re vindictive (sure, some people are!!), they do it because work is a place where almost everyone will, at some point, feel powerless. Revenge fantasies give your brain a place to rehearse what it would have felt like to have power in a moment when you didn’t.
If you’re sitting there wondering if I’m capable of plotting someone’s downfall if they cross me, the answer is not intentionally lol. The eye for an eye style of revenge isn’t on brand for me, I prefer this particular flavor of “revenge” →
Open Tab #3: Organizations Need to Shift from Change Management to Change Fitness (Forbes) [Edited to include: Free article link]
I read A LOT of business content and research management frameworks and truthfully, I approach most of them with lots of skepticism. I opened this article fully ready to dismiss it and ended up being pleasantly surprised. It’s good.
As a leader, there was a period where I was jaded about change. Every org I worked at was getting it “wrong”: fumbled comms, unclear strategy, wrong people at the table, no one actually informing the teams who needed to know. The list goes on. And one day, I changed my mindset. Change is hard and, of course, people are going to get it wrong. It’s hard for a reason.
For me, building “change fitness” meant asking better questions. Like: “What would make this easier for the people I lead?” And instead of reacting, I started resourcing, prepping, and communicating.
One of the biggest differentiators you can have as a leader is your ability to accept change as a constant, not be ambivalent about it. The leaders who thrive in chaotic environments aren’t the ones who resist change, they’re the ones who train for it. Another workout to add to your fitness plan.
Open Tab #4: ‘Utopia syndrome’ is holding you back at work – here’s how to navigate it (Stylist)
Look at Stylist unexpectedly dropping a gem! How many times have you held off on making a decision because you didn’t have the perfect answer or fantasized about someday finding the “perfect job/partner/apartment”? Turns out there’s a term for it and it’s not perfectionism, it’s Utopia Syndrome. And it feels like something high achievers are prone to. According to the article, it’s also incredibly common:
“Utopia syndrome makes us hyper-attuned to what’s missing, and we can become dogged in the belief that our best efforts – and our careers – should always feel outstanding and inspiring. Instead of investing in the imperfect-but-promising path we’re on, we keep scanning the horizon for the mythical ‘right fit’, often ending up directionless or perpetually dissatisfied. The danger isn’t just disillusionment – it’s inertia disguised as ambition. It can be a maddening state of criticising life from the sidelines.”
Wow — “perpetually dissatisfied” and “inertia disguised as ambition”. I’ve coached so many high achievers who are stuck because they believe there’s a “right” next move, when in reality, they have to decide what’s best for them. What if your next move isn’t about “finding” the right thing but choosing to take action anyway?
Open Tab #5: The Death of Partying (Derek Thompson)
I love Derek’s splashy entrance into the world of Substack from The Atlantic, particularly this post. The data is harrowing. Across every age group, the time we spend attending or hosting social events has dropped off a cliff.
I’m sorry to report that society’s evolution will not be televised because it’s too damn boring.
The one thought that keeps running through my head is this: Is the disillusionment so many people are feeling about work actually amplified by the fact that we’ve lost our social outlets?
When work is frustrating or isolating and there’s fewer parties, fewer happy hours, and no consistent social rhythm to offset it, that disillusionment festers. My hot take is that it’s probably led to people giving less grace and showing up more thorny in the workplace! Over time, our lives have become more self-contained, more transactional, more digital. And if work isn’t working and we’re not gathering nearly as much as we used to, how do people really blow off steam?!
So much of my workplace drama in my 20s was simply solved by the sentiment “I don’t have time for this, I have a party to get to”.
Good food for thought.
My Newsletter & Substack Notes
→ IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: THIS WEEK’S NEWSLETTER
Successful Leaders Read 5x More Books Than The Average Person
The topic of reading has been on my mind recently. I don’t know what it is about summer but it just makes me want to lay out somewhere and read or listen to a good audiobook. And I know it’s not just me! This week, I decided to explore why reading has become such a valuable outlet for me. In doing my research for the post, I did find a few articles asserting that successful leaders read more than the average person and it makes sense. Reading, listening to podcasts, watching movies, reading articles & essays (read: being open to other points of view) all seem to correlate with other positive high-performing leadership traits.
→ IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: THE MICRO-RETIREMENT CONVERSATION STRUCK A NERVE
I saw that micro-retirement article and decided to serve up the most ridiculous quote in it to the internet for discussion. I didn’t realize there’d be so many opinions?! The concept of a 1-2 week break from working doesn’t feel like anything other than a vacation to me (paid or unpaid). I loved the conversation that sparked from it. Lots of capitalism critiques and lots of sarcasm from our European counterparts who take vacationing seriously. Join in if you want :)
From my browser to yours. That’s it from me, now please go plan a gathering or at least forward this to someone who’d appreciate my content.
Also, like + comment. Ain’t too proud to beg!
—Ashley
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I love the idea of a 'power pause' but I wish that nyt article interviewed non-married women and non-moms. I'm sure it looks way diff on one income and childless vs being in a dual income household and having to take on most of the childcare.
100%! Im so grateful it wasn't always like this but yes I think your points below are very perceptive.
"The one thought that keeps running through my head is this: Is the disillusionment so many people are feeling about work actually amplified by the fact that we’ve lost our social outlets?
When work is frustrating or isolating and there’s fewer parties, fewer happy hours, and no consistent social rhythm to offset it, that disillusionment festers. My hot take is that it’s probably led to people giving less grace and showing up more thorny in the workplace! Over time, our lives have become more self-contained, more transactional, more digital. And if work isn’t working and we’re not gathering nearly as much as we used to, how do people really blow off steam?!
So much of my workplace drama in my 20s was simply solved by the sentiment “I don’t have time for this, I have a party to get to”.