I Hosted An Event for 20 Ambitious Leaders. Here's What They Taught Me About Personal Branding.
On perceived deficits, personal branding, and what actually happens when you surround yourself with people that challenge you (+a behind the scenes look at my first in-person event: Off The Record.)
Welcome to Reframed by Ashley Rudolph. One idea, every week, that changes how you see your career.
Last week, I wrote about how the things that are easiest for you are actually your hidden strengths. You discount them, because you mistake your level of ease for a universal truth. But the reality is, what’s easy for you is often game changing for others.
Enjoy this week’s edition of Reframed, I’m sharing a peek into my in-person experiences!
Last Saturday, I hosted Off The Record at A24's New York offices.
It was the first of my invite-only event series for ambitious women in leadership. A space where relationship building is central and where you can have the types of career conversations that you can’t have with family, friends, and coworkers.
It was incredible.
PERSONAL STORY
The 1 thing my first leadership conference unlocked
I didn’t always know what it meant to feel seen in professional spaces. I thought you showed up to one of these events ready to show off the shiniest bits of yourself, network with as many people as possible, and collect business cards. I attended my very first women’s leadership conference shortly after I became a Director. I was convinced I was well on my way to solving my core development issue: executive presence. Shuffling through a crowd of hundreds, I floated through sessions feeling both inspired and invisible.
Until one of our speakers asked us to turn to a neighbor, introduce ourselves, and share what we were hoping to get out of the day. After a brief intro, I told my partner that I was there to work on my executive presence. She looked at me quizzically and gently pushed back. She told me what she observed (quiet confidence, poise, someone well spoken) and, to her, that person wasn’t lacking executive presence. She didn’t offer a framework or a book, she instead offered me a reframe.
I didn’t know it then, but she was subtly signaling to me that I needn’t spend valuable time that day obsessing over my perceived deficits. I should challenge myself to make sure everyone saw the person she did. She empowered and inspired me. I don’t remember her name, but she changed me.
That moment made me question everything I thought I knew about myself as a leader. She didn't fix me. She refused to confirm the story I'd internalized about myself and that reframe changed me more than any conference session ever could. It ultimately became the foundation of my coaching philosophy and why I launched Off the Record.
1 INSIGHT
Your brand is how others experience you
One of the most memorable moments at Off The Record came during the personal branding session. I designed the exercise deliberately, in a way where I hoped the attendees would open up and uncover something real about themselves. What surfaced was consistent across almost every woman in the room: there was a gap between how these women described themselves and how others experienced them. Their words weren’t inaccurate, they were just smaller in their own telling than who they were in reality. Even to a person they’d met just a few hours ago.
I wasn't exempt from this either. An attendee described the exercise I'd designed as "Maya Angelou coded." I would never have described it that way.
It took me straight back to my first leadership conference.
In less than 10 minutes, someone told me that I didn’t have an executive presence problem and freed me from thinking about myself as someone with a deficit. I was someone who had a skill that others weren’t seeing. I was in control of how I chose to show up from that point forward.
Branding is similar.
The language we use to describe ourselves influences what others think about us.
When I think about hearing people’s shares after the branding exercise at Off The Record, how their partners thought about their work in much more impressive terms than they did. It was a reminder that when we shrink or struggle to find the right words, it’s not because you aren’t impressive. You just haven’t been given the right mirror.
THE WRAP UP
Closing thoughts
I’ve spent most of my career as a high achiever, the target of marketing, events, and programs designed based on the premise that women have deficits, gaps that need to be closed.
You need to be a girl boss, you need to lean in. Well now, the girl boss era is dead.
You need to become an entrepreneur, but you need to learn business fundamentals first and join this program.
You need to upskill.
You need to be trained in order to lead well.
You need to ask for more. You need to negotiate more.
It’s exhausting.
Researchers finally caught up to what many of us had already felt. A recent study proved that these well-meaning interventions don’t just fall short, they reinforce the very stereotypes they claim to dismantle. It’s no wonder why the “women are being left behind by AI” messaging has fallen short.
It’s no wonder many women (including myself) struggle to define their personal brands.
And now that you know this, make a different choice for yourself. Be bolder, tell yourself you’re the shit. Because if you’re reading Reframed, others are probably thinking it anyway.
Good luck. See you next week!
Ashley
PS - if you want to join the waitlist for future OTR events, sign up here.
EXTRA CREDIT
Personal branding resources
Here’s some of my favorite resources on personal branding:
Personal brand is a dirty word but you might want one anyway (Kate Citron)
How to Build Your Personal Brand without Burning Out (Lia Zneimer)
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Excellent insights as always! I always say that a personal brand is what people say about when you’re not in the room, which pairs nicely with how they experience you.
And how I wish I lived in New York so I could come to one of these events! Any chance for online events in future? 😉
Congratulations on hosting your first in-person event! I'm interested in hearing more about that branding exercise - sounds like it was GOOD.