Leadership is defined not by the good times but by how we show up when things get tough.
The aftermath of the elections last week reminded me of the fact that navigating difficult times is a call for leaders to show up with empathy and a steady presence.
Some of my most challenging days as a leader have come during times of uncertainty. But those days were also when I learned the most about the type of leader I wanted to be—when showing up for my team felt like a test of my own resilience.
If you’re wondering how to support your team when emotions run high, I’d like to share a story and some insights that helped me become a better leader during those times.
My Story: Choosing How to Show Up
Let me share a personal story with you. In 2023, my entire department faced layoffs. I was one of the few who knew about the decision well in advance. The advance notice gave me a choice: I could carry the guilt of knowing, I could focus all my energy on finding a cushy landing for myself, I could spend those months fighting the inevitable, or I could prepare to show up fully for my team in the ways I knew best.
At first, my mind was racing with “what-ifs.” What if there was some way I could stop this? What if I could shift the focus or delay the decision? What if I could justify my team’s value? What if I could “fight back”? I felt a twinge of responsibility to control the outcome, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t in my power. So, I made a choice. Instead of trying to control what I couldn’t, I focused on what I could: finding a way to help my team find the best possible outcomes for themselves and setting them up for success beyond their current roles, and doing so without sharing the news.
In those final weeks, I had to be steady in ways that didn’t come easily to me. Think about it - in the middle of this all, the reality was that I was losing my job too. But I knew I had a responsibility as a leader to create the best environment I could for my team. I stopped feeding into the rumor mill, refused to dwell on blame, and showed up as consistently as I could. I showed up everyday, knowing who would be impacted and who wouldn’t, knowing that some people would breathe a sigh of relief on lay off day and some wouldn’t be as lucky. It required an insane amount of vulnerability and resilience. Honestly, I still don’t where I got the courage from but I’m grateful for it.
At the end of the day — it wasn’t about keeping up appearances for me; it was about being present because I knew others might have a hard time doing so. I also knew that they deserved a leader that signaled to them that things will ultimately be okay, even if it felt like they wouldn’t be. And I knew I had it in me to provide that support for them.
Now was this all easy? No. Not at all. I was EXHAUSTED at the end of each work day. The associates at my local wine shop knew me on a first name basis! Do you know what the best thing is about hard times though? They’re temporary. And it all ultimately led to me creating a thriving business.
Those months taught me that leadership is often about finding the strength to stand firm, even when you don’t have all the answers.
If you’re looking for ways to build resilience, listen to the most recent episode of my podcast with Lea Durante, a former emergency room nurse and health practitioner with over 50,000 patient encounters. Her mission is helping people improve their overall wellbeing through cutting-edge, science-based practices.
5 Ways to Lead Through Tough Times
If you’ve ever navigated a challenging season as a leader (or are in the middle of doing so right now), here are a few ways I’ve learned to support a team when things feel uncertain.
1. Listen Without Trying to Fix Everything
There’s a strong pull as a leader to feel like you need to solve everything, to fix every worry. But sometimes, all your team really needs is to feel heard. When I shifted my focus from “solving” to simply listening, I saw how much more comfortable people were opening up—knowing I was there just to listen, not to provide immediate answers.
How to do it: In one-on-ones, let go of the urge to problem-solve. Phrases like, “I can’t imagine how tough that is,” or “I’m here to listen,” create space for your team to feel supported without feeling like they have to hold back.
2. Reach Out Personally
A simple check-in may seem small, but it can make a world of difference. I remember reaching out to individual team members just to ask how they were holding up. The reaction was often one of relief—they wanted to connect but didn’t know if it was okay to initiate that conversation. If you’re a high-achieving leader, just know that your team defaults to thinking that you’re busy. It may not feel natural to reach out to you for a check-in. You may have to open that door.
How to try it: Send a quick message: “Just checking in—how are things going for you today?” Sometimes, a simple “I’m here” is exactly what people need.
3. Normalize Mental Health Resources
During tense times and even when things were good, I’d remind my team that they should take time off. It was a simple gesture but to my surprise, people often reached out to thank me for mentioning it — it was like opening the door for a conversation they hadn’t felt comfortable starting.
Make it accessible: Share mental health resources openly in team meetings or communications, and let your team know it’s okay to take time if they need it. A gentle reminder like, “Here’s a list of our mental health resources. Please use them if you need support,” can help normalize the conversation around self-care.
4. Make Space in Their Days
I learned how powerful it is to create breathing room—whether it be physical space or additional flexibility via scheduling. It can look like canceling non-essential meetings, adjusting deadlines, or reserving a quiet room for anyone who needs a moment to themselves. These small actions send a strong message: your team’s well-being is a priority. Remember — it’s hard to feel like you have agency during hard times, giving your team permission to do something simple like making changes to their schedule is a reminder that their voice (and their well-being) matters.
Take action: Look at the schedule and identify what can be paused. Communicate clearly: “This week, let’s focus on what’s essential. If a deadline can be moved, let’s adjust it. If a meeting isn’t urgent, we’ll reschedule it.” These small adjustments can feel like a weight lifted.
5. Stay Present and Visible
I’ve been on teams where managers disappeared when things got tough, and that silence? It was louder than any words they could’ve said. I’m not judging those that take this approach, it’s hard to show up. It requires vulnerability, it requires you to have to deal with the realities of the spectrum of emotions across your team. And quite frankly, some people don’t have the capacity to take that on. But for teams, the difference between feeling “seen” or “left to fend for themselves” came down to whether their leader was present, visible, and engaged.
How to do this: Keep your camera on during meetings, even if it’s just to share a few words. Pop into group chats or make yourself available for informal check-ins. Your presence shows that you’re committed to navigating challenges together. It signals to everyone that you are the type of leader who will be there through the good and the bad. Those are the leaders that make the biggest impact.
Final Thoughts: The Legacy You Leave
When times get tough, people remember how you showed up for them. Projects come and go, but the way you support your team—especially when it’s hard—leaves a lasting mark.
Imagine a moment when you felt supported by a leader during a difficult time. It probably stayed with you long after the situation passed, and it likely shaped how you view leadership today. As a leader, you have the chance to be that grounding force for your team. Each time you choose to show up with intention and compassion, you’re building a legacy based on the principles of trust, respect, and resilience.
So, if you’re navigating a tough season, remember this:
It’s temporary — you’ll make it through
You don’t need to have all the answers, just the commitment to show up
You’ve got this.
Resources
Leadership is rewarding and sometimes it’s hard — you don’t have to go at it alone.
If you’re planning for next year and want to reflect on your own opportunities for growth and ways to continue leveraging your strengths, download my Year-End Planning Guide. It has tools to help you lead with purpose and leverage your strengths during challenging times.
If you’re looking for support in building resilience, listen to the most recent episode of my podcast, The Impactful Conversations Effect, with Lea Durante.
Some great advice thanks.
I have one comment about this though “I’m here to listen,” doesn’t go down well with most men.