How to Bounce Back from the Sting of Rejection
Because even high achievers take rejection personally sometimes.
Welcome to this week’s edition of Reframed by Ashley R. I write for high achieving professionals who rarely get the space to think through what they want next or how to lead in a way that actually works for them.
I'm Ashley Rudolph—a former tech executive turned coach for leaders and next-gen execs in the creative, tech, and lifestyle industries.
If you’re an overthinker, I’m right there with you this week.
Last week, I wrote about how to increase your luck surface area—and how doing so strategically can help you spot, attract, and land the right opportunities.
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But inevitably, when you start expanding your luck surface area, you don’t just invite more yeses. You also invite more no’s.
No’s can shake your confidence.
Make you question your next move.
Even tempt you to play smaller just to avoid disappointment.
So this week, let’s talk about rejection and why it’s not the signal to stop. It’s just a bet that someone else got wrong.
THIS WEEK’S TOPIC: REJECTION
When They Say No, It’s Just a Bad Bet
Sometimes clients come to me after one too many failed attempts—trying to get the promotion, land the dream job, secure the right project. They’ve been pushing, reaching, showing up.
And the answer is still no.
At that point, it’s tempting (and understandable) to look for villains: their manager. Their company. Their industry. The system.
But most of the time, it’s not that they aren’t qualified. Or capable. It’s that someone in a decision-making seat simply placed the wrong bet.
And rejection can hit hard — especially when you know you’re good. You’ve done the work, you’ve made the moves, and still, someone passed. Not because you’re lacking.
But because they made the wrong bet.
Because that’s what every yes or no is at its core: a bet.
It’s a bet on potential. On performance. On fit. On vision.
Sometimes, those bets are wrong.
But here’s what happens when my clients don’t take that no as gospel. When they stop chasing approval and start ruthlessly focusing on what they want next with support and with strategy — the yes shows up.
The right project. The better title. The role that actually aligns.
They made themselves the obvious bet.
And suddenly, the same people who once passed? They’re the ones circling back. And sometimes, they’re too late ;)
THE SCENE: A REFRAME & SOME IMPORTANT CONTEXT
The Truth About No’s
Something a friend said recently that stuck with me: when someone tells you no, you’re no worse off than before you asked.
You didn’t lose anything. You didn’t get set back. You’re standing exactly where you were…only now, you have more information.
So why not ask?
Why not go for it?
The real loss isn’t hearing no.
It’s never even giving yourself the chance to hear yes.
The truth is, you can’t wait for someone else to bet on you. The most powerful yes is the one you give yourself. Betting on yourself means deciding:
“I’m not crazy for wanting this.”
“I’m not behind.”
“I’m not wrong for dreaming bigger.”
“I can accomplish my goals”
Once you lean into believing the above, the rejection, silence, and slow progress stop being verdicts. They just become data and you move on.
Ready for a smarter strategy behind your next move?
That’s exactly the work I do inside Elevate — my coaching program for high-performing professionals navigating growth, transitions into new roles, and defining their next chapters. If you’re done waiting for someone else’s yes and ready to build momentum on your own terms, let’s talk.
STORY TIME: THE AUDACITY OF MEDIOCRE MANAGEMENT & OTHER BAD BETS
When Ambition Is Mistaken for a Threat
I had the chance to interview Allison Stadd, fellow writer and leader, who told me a story I think about often.
Early in her career, she had one of those exhilarating moments where the CEO of her company pulled her aside to talk about her growth and where she saw herself going. The kind of conversation that makes you feel seen.
The next day, her direct manager called her in and told her that the conversation she had with their CEO made him uncomfortable.
Her ambition? Her clarity? It didn’t sit right with him.
That moment? It could’ve been enough to make her shrink. To play smaller. To doubt whether her ambition had a place.
But she didn’t shrink.
She didn’t defer to the discomfort.
And now, years later, she’s an executive because she kept betting on herself, even when others didn’t.
If you’re curious → Allison Stadd is a brand and culture executive based in Philadelphia. She’s the SVP of Brand, Culture & Media at Shipt (a Target company), writer of The OffBeat, a jazz drummer, and a mom. She writes about leadership, creativity, and the rhythms of modern life.
And just in case you need more convincing—bets get misjudged constantly:
In 1962, Decca Records rejected The Beatles, believing four-piece rock bands were over.
In 1876, Western Union dismissed the telephone, calling it impractical.
Melanie Perkins (CEO of Canva) got rejected hundreds of times by VCs and still built the $6B business that made us all believe we’re competent graphic designers.
For years, award committees snubbed Beyoncé for Album of the Year. And yet, she’s arguably the defining artist of our generation.
If they can be overlooked, snubbed, underestimated, so can you.
But that doesn’t make the no true.
In Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath, researchers found that doctors who were completely certain about a diagnosis were wrong 40% of the time.
Think about that.
If experts in life-or-death decisions can misjudge a situation, why would you take one person’s “no” as gospel?
STRATEGIES & TACTICS: HOW TO STAND OUT IN THIS MARKET
How to Be the Easiest Yes in the Room
If every yes is a bet, your goal is to make yourself the clearest, most obvious one on the table. Here’s how:
1. Make Your Value Obvious
Decision-makers are allergic to risk. If they can’t instantly understand what you bring to the table, they’ll default to someone safer.
Try this → ask a trusted peer or mentor to explain the value you bring to your team, your company, or your department in one sentence. If they can’t, it’s a signal that you haven’t made your value obvious enough. Try sharing your work with others, maybe dropping a slack message about a project you’re on, or reading my post about 10 Non-Cringey Ways to Promote Yourself at Work :)
2. Speak Their Language, Not Yours
People say yes based on their priorities, not your effort. Your resume might say “launched a brand campaign”. But a VP wants to hear “drove $2.3M in new revenue from a brand campaign with a 2-person team”. See the difference?
Ask yourself: Am I positioning myself around what they care about most? If not, reframe.
Refer to: My IMPACT formula for incredible pointers on how to do this effectively in a data driven way.
3. Normalize Following Up
A lot of “no’s” are really just “not now”. Leaders are overwhelmed, priorities shift, inboxes eat things (lol).
Following up thoughtfully isn’t annoying—it’s professional. And often, it’s the nudge that brings your name back into focus.
Try this → If you haven’t heard back in 5–7 days, send a short, clear message that reaffirms your interest or request, and adds something useful or specific. (Ex: a new result, a relevant article, or a quick “still interested, wanted to reconnect/follow-up on the below.”)
No response to your original inquiry doesn’t always mean rejection. Sometimes it just means they forgot.
4. Rebound Without Changing Your Goals
A no can bruise your ego but it doesn’t have to rewrite your plans. Most rejections aren’t about your talent. They’re about someone else’s priorities, bandwidth, or timing.
So resist the urge to spiral or overanalyze. Decide to stay in motion.
Try this → Give yourself one beat to feel it. Then re-engage: revisit your goals, return to your search, send the pitch to someone else, or plan a follow-up with your manager in a few months. Keep placing bets on yourself. It’s not about proving them wrong, it’s about reminding yourself that their no isn’t the only version of the story.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
So, What’s Your Next Move?
I’ve been thinking of rejection lately as a personal metric. Not a sign of failure but a sign that I’m stretching. That I’m putting myself in rooms where the answer might be no, but where the upside is greater too.
And when rejection stings, I ask myself:
Am I upset because I feel like I lost?
Am I upset because I wanted their validation?
If you’ve been passed over or quietly underestimated lately, consider this your cue to recalibrate:
You didn’t lose. They just placed the wrong bet.
So what’s next?
Change the room. Change the message. Change how you show up.
But don’t stop.
Because the people who bet on themselves first? They’re the ones everyone else bets on later.
Good luck! See you next week,
Ashley
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