I’m Grateful for You (+ 4 thank you note templates you can send in <10 min)
Giving gratitude is one small thing you can do that will instantly strengthen your relationships at work.
Welcome to Reframed!
Work is complex, career advice shouldn’t be.
I’m Ashley Rudolph and I write this newsletter for people who are ready for the next level in their careers.
Thank you so much for reading!
With Thanksgiving this week, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude. The things I’m grateful for, how appreciated I’ve felt at points in my career, and how leaders incorporate gratitude into their daily/weekly/monthly rhythms.
Feeling respected and “seen” at work can completely shift our relationship to our jobs.
I couldn’t help but wonder (😉): how often do leaders actually express gratitude?
Sadly, I found that the higher you climb (aka the more powerful you are), the less likely you are to express gratitude (HBR).
Yikes, right?!
But when I think about it, it makes sense. I believe that most decent leaders are grateful for their teams. They’re just not always saying it out loud. And to some degree, I get it — gratitude requires slowing down. Today’s workplace feels more like a constant cycle of “go, go, go”. That type of environment doesn’t necessarily reward slowing down.
I’ve experienced it firsthand. The unease that sometimes comes from not feeling appreciated for my contributions. Working long hours, taking on huge stretch projects, overcoming obstacles and barely getting a “thanks” in return. I liked the HBR article because it has incredibly useful tips on what to do if you feel under appreciated—which some of you might relate to. I wish I had this resource back when I was feeling that way.
This week, my advice (and underrated pro-tip) is to pause and send a thank you note to a peer, a direct report, or even your favorite leader. And if you’re a freelancer, send one to your favorite client!
Here’s why:
The time is right. If you feel awkward or performative doing it, Thanksgiving is an easy scapegoat. If you’re feeling awkward, consider this → “Expressers significantly underestimated positive reactions from recipients and overestimated how awkward the gesture was. Importantly, expressers’ misguided expectations were associated with a reduced willingness to express gratitude. Moreover, receiving gratitude is associated with increased work engagement and better performance.”
It works.
Sending notes of gratitude makes you feel good too, not just the recipient. And if you’re curious, here’s the research to back it up. It’s a win/win situation.
Few leaders express gratitude to their direct reports, peers, or managers, so you’ll stand out by doing it. It’s an incredible edge. The best leaders are high EQ for a reason.
So now that I have your attention…
If you’re looking for inspiration, I’m sharing a few examples of notes I’ve written and received over the years. If you’re feeling stuck on where to start, try using one of them as a starting point for your own notes this week. And if you are feeling generous or if gratitude is your jam — drop one of your own in the comments, I’d love to read them!
Example gratitude emails/Slacks
I thought I’d share some real, human examples from my own time in corporate because they’re not easy to find! There are many examples of thank you speeches and remarks from actors, politicians, and fortune 100 executives.
Oscars speeches? Adore them. But no one is trying to see you cosplay as Viola Davis on a Tuesday. Long thank you emails filled with platitudes almost always read as fake and self serving in a corporate context.
Not the right vibe lol.
For corporate thank-yous my general philosophy is keep it short, but make it specific.
Try focusing on the following prompts to make your thank you note meaningful:
What exactly did this person do that was meaningful for me?
Am I genuinely glad they’re part of my team? Why?
What do they bring to the table that’s uniquely them? (This shows that you actually see them.)
And if I’m writing to a team: I thank them and I give them something to look forward to. Gratitude is about the current moment, but it’s also about what’s next. I want people to know why I’m grateful they’re on this journey with me.
Let’s dive in.
Example 1: note to a peer
When I wrote this, I was onboarding to a new company and wanted to send a personal note to a colleague who had really helped me learn the ropes. I sent this note to her around Thanksgiving.
Hi [peer name],
Thank you so much for being an awesome partner for me over the past 6 months! You’ve been such an instrumental part of my onboarding and transition into my role here. Your relationship with the team and passion for the work you do is infectious and I wouldn’t be able to do my work without the groundwork that you laid for me. You are the best!
Example 2-3: note to a peer
One of these was a Slack message a skip level sent me, shortly after joining my team. The other was a shout out from a colleague that participated in a team on site I facilitated. These notes were so impactful to me that I saved them as a reference/mood booster for myself!
(A)
“Ashley - I appreciate the energy and direction you bring to every space. Every meeting or space you lead, I’m leaving with a clear sense of next steps and feeling really committed and fired up about the work. Thank you for all that you do. And thanks again for making me and so many others feel welcomed!”
—
(B)
“Hey Ashley! Just wanted to give you a huge shout-out for putting together a great on-site. You manage a team of people with tons of passion and expertise, and you’ve done a great job channeling that into productive conversation, team-building, and re-alignment on goals and vision. Your ability to blend warmth and support with clear expectations has truly taken our [xx] team to the next level. I have learned so much already from your skills as a manager and I am excited to continue to watch and learn more from you as a colleague.
You rock”
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If you’re reading this and thinking that you need a more strategic approach to your leadership, let’s talk.
I help high achievers get strategic about their short, medium, and long-term approaches to leadership — things that impact their day to days and their career trajectories. If you want support or a safe space to think things through, book some time with me and we’ll see if we’re a fit.
Example 4: appreciation for your team
When I wrote this note, I had just stepped into my first team leadership role and wanted to make a great impression. I wanted to include this one because it’s decent, but not perfect. And that’s the point. Your gratitude notes don’t need to be masterpieces. They just need to be honest. Looking back, I would have added more specificity and painted a more detailed picture of what was to come in the future, but even as-is, it landed. Gratitude is a skill and you get better by practicing it.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I’m extremely grateful for getting to work alongside three of the most passionate, dedicated, and talented individuals at this company! I took a step back today and reflected on the fact that four WOMEN are running [two of the largest departments at X]. Given how few women in leadership there are in tech, this is huge.
I’m incredibly proud of the work each of you has done this year and for the initiatives that are to come. With that, I’ll end with: You rock. And I’m lucky to have you all on this team.
—
As you can see, none of these notes were lengthy! Each one probably took less than 10 minutes to draft. I either received an immediate reply or I felt our relationships shift over time, in positive ways. There was more trust, respect, and understanding. Just from a quick note of thanks.
If 10 mins is all it takes to shift a relationship or to make someone’s day, I’d say it’s well worth the investment :)
And before I go, I want to say thank you for being here.
For reading.
For caring about your own growth enough to spend time with me every week.
I keep writing every single week because I want to help people like you feel seen. And in some odd and very special way, I’m now realizing you see me too. Because you open these emails.
I’m grateful for you.
And if you’re celebrating, Happy Thanksgiving from me to you.
Ashley
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Excellent piece, thanks Ashley! Grateful to Substack for bringing your wisdom and friendship to my life!