The Not So Subtle Art of Communicating: Mastering Storytelling with Victoria Brown
I met Victoria Brown back in January through Lucy Werner’s Hype Yourself Community. I fell in love with the community because most people struggle with hyping themselves up, particularly women (including myself!). It’s something that I think a lot about personally and in my coaching work. I was taken by how quickly Victoria and I related to each other’s unique experiences and her Story Coaching practice. I’ve struggled with the discomfort of talking myself up and still do. If you’ve ever delivered an awkward presentation, shy away from speaking in front of groups, or find yourself struggling to keep a team member (or teams) engaged during meetings — a bit of storytelling might help. Some of the best leaders leverage anecdotes (ie. storytelling!!) when speaking in front of audiences; whether they’re delivering a message to their teams or external groups, they realize the role storytelling plays in making the information stick. Communicating is about sharing information but it’s also about connecting and being aware of how your message makes people feel.
The shortest distance between a human being and the truth is a story.
—Antony de Mello
I’m excited to introduce you all to Victoria and her storytelling tips. I’ll let her take it from here!
An overview of Victoria’s professional career and what led her to Story Coaching
My career history is pretty varied: I’ve been a BBC Journalist, a Corporate Comms expert, a Blogger, Podcaster, Copywriter, Coach and a Stage Entertainer in France (amongst other things). I realised there was one thing that ties together all the things I’ve ever done: I’m utterly obsessed with story and believe stories are the essential ingredients creating connection between us as human beings. In fact, if you cut me down the middle (please don’t!), I’m pretty sure you’d see the word ‘story’ written right down the middle - as it’s so ingrained in me and everything I do.
I realised other business owners and leaders don’t have this skill to ‘see stories’, and are missing out on connecting with people on a deeper level as a result, so I decided to rebrand myself as a Story Coach.
Why stories?
What do stories have to do with ‘real business’? Aren’t they just a load of fluff, distracting from the important stuff? You may even have been told it’s ‘unprofessional’ to share your personal life at work.
And whilst there’s certainly a balance to be found between sharing and oversharing, telling stories in your everyday life at work can be magnetic and powerful.
We’re all hardwired for storytelling - right from our early days when we were doing cave paintings and running around being chased by bears. We think in stories and are made up of stories. Ever wanted to inspire your team into action? Help your team understand someone better? Or show them that you understand how they’re feeling? Stories are a brilliant way to achieve this in a way that shows authenticity and is memorable. If you don't use stories in your communication strategy, you risk wasting the opportunity to inspire your team to greatness. Think about all the leaders who've inspired you...wasn't it because you bought into their stories?
So, how do you tell really compelling stories?
Here are six sprinkles to shake over your stories to help them create more impact:
Remember WHY you’re sharing your story. If you’re sharing a story because you want buy-in from your team, make sure you know why you’re sharing the story and what you want your audience to get out of it. How do you want people to feel, think or believe as a result of hearing your story? If you’re not intentional about this, you won’t get the result you want. I once helped a senior leader deliver a virtual call announcing a round of redundancies. It was a difficult and emotive call which required empathy and sensitivity and he did a brilliant job of delivering the agreed key messages. And then he surprised me and did something off script that blew me away - I still remember it 10 years later.
He described a time when he was in their shoes, and how it felt. It felt moving because it was clearly from the heart and therefore really powerful. When he ended the call saying his door was open to anyone with concerns, it felt really honest and heartfelt - because he shared his own story. It was a moment that stuck with me and that’s what powerful and well chosen stories can do. He wanted to create a moment of shared empathy and it worked.
You have the license to edit your own story. Never tell a story in chronological order - this isn’t your CV. It may be tempting to tell people exactly what happened in that exact order, but this could be pretty boring.
Imagine if you told a story about going to work, trudging around work all day, and then on the way home you saw a fish playing a guitar. I think it’s pretty obvious that the most interesting part of the story - the gleaming detail - is the fish playing the guitar. But if you leave that bit until the end, your audience could already be asleep. Instead, feel free to move the parts of your story around and make sure you start with the most intriguing bit of your story - to get people’s attention. And then also finish on a strong note - it will be your last impression.
How much to share? I always advise people share what they feel comfortable with. It’s great to show a little vulnerability and realness - because that really connects on a deeper level with your audience. But don’t feel you need to share everything. Sharing too much could undermine the point you’re trying to make, so make a conscious decision about how much you want to share and stick to it.
If you think you want to share a story, but you’re not sure - do what I call the ‘oversharing test’. Ask yourself: By sharing this story in this way, does it either: undermine the trust I’m trying to build with my audience, or does it undermine the objective of me telling my story? If the answer is yes - then maybe you should rein it in. If not, then go for it.
Get specific. Ever noticed that really good stories are memorable because they evoke really specific images - maybe even evoke your senses? Or that comedians are very specific when they tell their stories - often using brand names or very specific scenarios?
This really shapes your stories and helps make them more memorable as it paints a clear picture in your audience’s mind.
Copywriter Laura Belgray calls what she calls the ‘Steven Spielberg test’. She says if you give your story to Steven Spielberg and he couldn’t create a film scene from your story - then it’s not specific enough. Take a look at your story - can you add in actual names (as long as people don’t mind, or won’t sue you!) locations, brand names. Colors, smells, textures and tastes (as long as they’re relevant to the story) can also add memorability and help evoke the senses. Think: a ‘skinny cap with extra foam’ and not a ‘coffee’ and you’re on the right track. Get as specific as you can.
Cut it down - be brutal. Don’t fall so in love with your stories that you forget about your audience. Keep the ins and outs down to the barest minimum, and only keep in what is strictly necessary. You may think that detail about how you completed your High School Certificate is a pivotal point in taking you on to college and the next point in your career, but remember the point you’re trying to make. Do other people really need to know? Whilst a few gleaming specific details are great, adding in too much information about background facts can just be distracting.
Think about how much your audience needs to know to understand the point your story is making. Cutting out irrelevant details will make the point you’re trying to make all the stronger. Once you’ve got your story, strip out all the stuff you don’t need, and be brutal. This can be tough, as we can’t always see our own stories…in which case you’ll need to follow the next tip:
Use a sounding board - you’re too close! Ever been in one of those mazes where you can’t find your way out because you’re in the middle of it, and all you can see is 10ft of green hedges towering over you in every direction? Your stories are a bit like that. You are in the middle of them, so it’s difficult to see them objectively. You need to get out of the maze and stand on that little tower in the middle, to see what’s going on.
Your friends and colleagues can help you. Choose someone you know well, who gets you, and understands what you’re trying to achieve. Share your story with them and ask them if they think it meets your chosen story objective - do they think you’re oversharing? Are they bored? (Ask them to be honest!) Use their feedback to tweak your story, as you won’t see it fully yourself.
The best leadership advice she’s ever received
“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.” It’s actually a quote by the author, Roald Dahl, but I think it’s a sound reminder for all of us that we all have so much more power to create change than we probably realise. Half the battle is believing it. I’ve been lucky enough to meet some people who’ve done some impressive things. And it’s always surprising to find they often have the same fears and doubts as the rest of us. We’re all capable of so much more than we realise. It’s just about taking that first step in the right direction, and carrying on going.
Victoria Brown is a Story Coach - she helps leaders and businesses connect with their audience on a deeper level using stories, through coaching and consultancy packages. She’s also the host of the Apple top 30 podcast - Creative Slurp.
You can find out more at thevictoriabrown.com and sign up for your discovery call.
Love this Ashley!!!
Thank you so much for inviting me to collaborate with you Ashley - it really got me thinking more deeply about story and leadership.