Last week, I published 2 newsletters for paid subscribers only. One announcing the launch of the Reframed Index, a career resource for Reframed Insiders. The other was a recap of the July Insiders call, where we discussed onboarding new team members (+ tips for how to get it right), speaking up in meetings, and next month we’ll be talking compensation. Upgrade to paid to join next month’s conversation and to gain access to the Reframed Index.

My birthday was on Saturday.

If you read my 100th issue of Reframed back in December, you might remember that this year is a milestone year for me.

(Spoiler alert: I turned 40!)

This year has been good to me in a lot of ways, but for the past few months I’ve been feeling a pull toward change.

The good kind.

I love my work. I love my clients. I spent the last three years building a coaching business from scratch, to a level most coaches can’t and won’t reach on their own and I’m still outperforming my benchmarks: my revenue is up 70% compared to this time last year, this newsletter reaches thousands of leaders at companies like Spotify, Nike, Amex, Goldman Sachs, and The New York Times, and my work has been featured in Teen Vogue (twice) and on 20+ podcasts.

I’m proud of that.

And still, I’ve been feeling a gravitational pull towards more.

Why millennials are more likely to be feeling “the itch”

Before we get to the lessons, some context.

If you’ve felt this way too, you should know it’s not just you and it’s not just a getting “old” thing. The oldest millennials are turning 45 this year and researchers are calling ours a midlife crisis of purpose and engagement rather than the old guy buys a sports car to feel young again kind of crisis (Fortune). NPR dedicated a whole episode to surviving it. Meanwhile The Hill cited research that 60% of workers feel stuck in their careers and executive millennial women are increasingly opting out of corporate and into consulting, ditching the girl boss playbook of the 2010s entirely.

So many of my millennial friends and clients started asking “what is it all for?”. It’s easy to say work is broken for everyone; the discomfort being a reality of the life stage we’re in is a harder pill to swallow.

My own data says the same thing. Hundreds of you have taken my free career quiz and the results are striking:

• 41% of respondents consistently exceed expectations at work, but only 24% believe leadership sees them as a leader.

• 76% aren’t confident they’re seen as promotable, even though their work gets respect.

• And 84% can’t confidently answer where they see themselves in 5 years. To be fair, I don’t think many people can in general these days…

This is the exact mid-career hum of uncertainty and dissatisfaction I’m talking about.

10 lessons my 30s taught me

Turning 40 forced me to look back. The lessons below are what got me through my millennial itch with some real answers.

My 30s were a decade of:

• Growth (I became an executive in my early 30s. It’s the decade where I once went from a 5% merit increase to a VP promotion in one week)

• Risk (I left corporate to start my own business in my late 30s)

• Self-awareness (I learned to love myself for who I am, not just what I can do)

All these things set a solid foundation for what’s to come next. Here are some of the most important lessons I learned in the past decade.

On growing into yourself

1. You can shrink yourself to get ahead, but is it worth it?

A client asked me recently when I started wearing braids at the office. I told him the truth. The first time I wore braids to the office in my 20s, my manager saw me walk in and had a very dramatic and loud reaction to my hair. She meant it as a compliment, I felt othered. I just wanted to show up with a new hairstyle. I didn’t want it to be “a thing”. Her reaction made me shrink, her intention was the opposite.

I stopped wearing braids to work.

I didn’t start again until my 30s. Until that point my hair was blown out and for a period of time adorned with honey blonde highlights.

I started wearing braids again after I became a VP.

When I showed up this time with braids, another black executive pulled me aside and admitted that he waited until he was director-level before wearing protective styles.

That was in 2022.

To this day, people ask me versions of this question all the time: can I wear my curls when everyone else’s hair is straight and still get promoted? I won’t pretend that bias isn’t a thing, research has proven that it exists. But I do know that the best thing I did in my 30s was stop editing myself.

My takeaway here isn't as straightforward as "wear your natural hair”. It's not about curly vs. straight vs. protective styles. It's about the freedom that comes with wearing your hair however the f*ck you want to without thinking twice about how it'll be perceived or whether it'll handicap your career.

I felt trapped by feeling like I had to make those calculations for a long time.

The best thing my 30s gave me was finding a way out of that loop.

Today, that reaction wouldn’t make me stop wearing braids, but I still remember that moment

2. Surround yourself with people who intimidate you a little. It’s the fastest way to grow.

I watched this happen in real time at Off the Record. I looked around the room and couldn’t help but think: this is what alchemy feels like. Afterward, hearing everyone else say the same thing made me realize how much being in a room of great people pushes you past your own conception of what’s possible. Some smart people insist on doing everything alone. Save yourself the time. Bringing brilliant people together is the more inspired path.

“I looked around the room at one point and was a bit in awe and humbled in a way that made me feel seen yet inspired for more.”

— Liela Touré, Communications Expert, OTR attendee

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On making career decisions

3. Hitting the level you’ve been aiming for can kill your motivation and it’s shocking when it happens.

It happened to me. You chase a title for years, you get it ahead of or alongside everyone else, and then the motivation disappears because you accomplished the goal. Naturally, you start asking what is it all for. Or you feel like walking away. It’s why there are so many names for this (midlife crisis, the millennial reckoning, etc).

No one can tell you what decisions to make in your career. Not your friends, not your parents, not social media. No one. Living up to everyone else’s expectations drains you. You have to decide what you want from your career for yourself.

4. Leave to uplift yourself, not for revenge.

I rage quit a few times. It was rarely worth it.

There were lessons in all of them, but if I could do it over, I’d spend that energy understanding what I actually wanted, beyond the surface-level stuff, and optimizing for that instead. Here’s how to know when it’s time to quit.

5. Thinking about something is not doing it.

Smart people burn years designing the perfect plan for the perfect job or the perfect opportunity. It doesn’t exist. You get where you want to go through small consistent actions or by being bold enough to do something big. (And yes, clarity before action. But sometimes the right action is what breeds the clarity.)

6. Your promotability comes down to three factors: your work, your ability to influence others, and your company’s context.

Most people only optimize for doing great work, the others are just as consequential. My ability to get to VP was based on me learning how to manage up and build relationships with the right executives. People on the internet dismiss this as ass kissing, it’s not. They’re social skills.

Earlier this year, I asked 6 executives how they actually make promotion decisions and none of the responses were “they just did great work”. It’s much more nuanced than that.

In my quiz data, only 14% of respondents usually get what they ask for in raise and promotion conversations. The other 86% aren’t doing worse work. They’re under-investing in the other two factors. Once you know where you stand across all three, you’ll know if you have to leave to get what you deserve. But please, negotiate first (here’s the playbook I used for 9 raises in 8 years).

If you want an unsentimental deep dive on the influence piece, read Jeffrey Pfeffer’s Power.

On protecting your energy

7. Learn the difference between passion and anxiety, because they look identical from the outside.

When my career was taking off and I was getting promoted from the Manager to Director levels, I worked a lot. It was harmonious passion. I remember being so lit up by my work that pouring hours into it felt right.

When I hit VP, I was constantly overworking because I was driven by anxiety and a lack of boundaries between my work and personal life.

Knowing the difference between when you’re in a flow state vs. overworking is how you protect your health. I didn’t know the difference between both modes, I thought my success was simply from putting in long hours alone.

It wasn’t.

Both look like a path to burnout to others. Only you can tell them apart. Pay attention to what type of work or environment makes you operate above your baseline and what drags you below it.

When something fuels you? Pour yourself into it. When it doesn’t, recalibrate.

8. Don’t put off doctor’s appointments for your job.

I fell into a pattern of prioritizing my work over my health and ended up needing surgery. Maybe it’s just me, but the consequence was serious enough for me to make it a cautionary tale on this list. Don’t be like me.

On challenging yourself

9. When you keep "getting lucky”, it's not luck anymore.

It's the decisions you're making and the skills that you've built stacking up. If you keep having lucky breaks, do an audit: what's actually driving your wins? Name those things, then lean on them intentionally.

Luck is buildable btw. I wrote a whole strategy for it.

10. Be intentional about learning.

Left alone, life becomes a series of tasks: wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Same job, same routine, same experiences on a loop. That’s how stagnation happens. If you don’t want to be in maintenance mode, you have to actively decide how you want to stretch yourself.

Take that class. Be a beginner again. For me this year, that’s looked like taking pottery class, enrolling in a series of seminars at the UN (I was invited to be a civil service delegate last week at the Secretary General Town Hall), and signing up for Jane’s Walks.

So, what am I cooking up for my next decade?

Remember the itch I mentioned above? I'm no stranger to it. I see it in my clients all the time.

For the past 2+ years I've been using a framework in my coaching called the REF Method: Reflect, Explore, Find. When someone is ready for their next step but not entirely sure what it is, I tailor the framework to their situation and we work through it together. By the end of the exercise, they know what they want to do next, they’ve positioned themselves for it, and their lives change. They step into new roles. They make time for travel and for hobbies that they convinced themselves don’t fit into their schedule.

But most importantly, they’re no longer stuck.

You’d never guess any of this from the outside, by the way. Everything looks great on paper for them. The hardest struggles are the ones that are imperceptible to everyone around you.

Most high achievers I know have a 2-4 year itch. We step into a new role and get really good at it in record time.

Then the urge to go after something bigger comes along.

I started my business in July 2023; this month marks my 3 year business anniversary.

A month ago, I did REF for myself.

I dug into what’s been working, got clear on what I want to be focused on, and built an action plan that matches the ambitions I have for myself right now, not 3 years ago.

I audited my energizers and my drainers.

The answer was clear, I’m ready for more.

Since I unlocked what needs to shift, I’ve felt the exact same confidence, clarity, and groundedness my clients describe. It works.

Here's where I landed: coaching is just one thing I do, but it’s part of a larger vision. I run a leadership firm. My 40s are about going bigger.

More soon.

Good luck! See you next week.

Ashley

The Reframed Index started as a spreadsheet. If you were on last week’s Insiders call - I actually talked about it! If you weren’t let me catch you up. Sarah (a fellow Insider!!) helped me map out a library of resources that I’ve collected across my career and my years as an executive coach (books, podcasts, articles, worksheets that are all mine, and a few extras). She also worked to sort them by the situations you’re actually navigating.

That map turned out to be the blueprint for the personalized experience you see today.

I had an idea to build a portal experience for the resources Sarah and I pulled together, so I figured why not now?! Naturally, I didn’t stop until a real, living site was up and running. If you’re curious, I used Ploy.ai for the build (I don’t love Lovable).

When you visit the Reframed Index, what you’ll see is an experience that is personalized and dynamic. And the best part i…

Read more

Last week, I shared 4 links that made me feel smarter. I’m still thinking about two of the articles on my list: the one about Lizzo’s career and the other about Luddism making a comeback?!

I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m intentionally leaning into lighter content this summer; things that you can read on the go. Enjoy it, friends!

You’ll see a greater ROI from taking a strength from a 9 to a 10 than dragging a weakness from a 3 to a 4.

I love the summer. Maybe a little too much, which is why you’re receiving this a little later today :)

My favorite career hack was realizing that you could take the longer lunch, protect your Summer Fridays, ease into your week, and maximize your PTO while still advancing. As long as that lighter energy goes towards the things you do best.

Hear me out.

What moves your career forward fastest is becoming so good at one or two things that your name is the first one people think of. It’s the philosophy behind tools like CliftonStrengths. Gallup’s research backs me up too: the strongest teams don’t obsess over fixing every weakness, they find a way to maximize what people are already great at.

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LINKS

How to Get Ahead and Still Enjoy Your Summer

Here’s a few of my favorite reads on leveraging your strengths, including one of my own newsletters :) Save them, read them, share them. Come Fall, you'll be glad you did.

1. The case for getting ahead by doing work that feels too easy (Reframed)

Earlier this year, I made the case that doing things that feel easy to you is the quickest way to differentiate yourself and end up on the fast track for a promotion at work. It’s counterintuitive, but it’s a POV that keeps paying dividends for my clients (and even myself!). I may be biased, but you should bookmark this one.

2. Should you develop your strengths or your weaknesses? (HBR)

While my POV on doubling down on your strengths is aligned with HBR, they make a fresh point that I didn't cover. There are weaknesses you should address, the ones actually standing in the way of your growth. They call them derailers. Some common ones I've seen trip up high achievers:

• Rigidity (too fixed in a system or way of working, leadership requires flexibility)

• Perfectionism (holding the work to a bar so high that nothing ships and no one else is trusted to own it)

• Conflict avoidance (choosing to be liked over being clear or direct, especially in moments when hard conversations are called for)

• Defensiveness (treating feedback as something to defend themselves against instead of information to use)

• Going it alone (mistaking heroic solo output for leadership, when the job requires getting results through other people)

My takeaway? Focus on your strengths and manage your derailers.

3. People who focus on strengths live happier lives (Psychology Today)

Just in case you needed a quick, science-backed case for why a strengths-first approach isn’t just pleasant advice, it has a real impact on your mood, mental health, and your performance. People who focus on their strengths advance faster at work, lead happier lives, and are more confident. How’s that for evidence? 😉

4. Why it’s easy to overlook your strengths and what to do about it (Fast Company)

In this article, the authors highlight how many successful people fail to recognize the very traits that others deeply appreciate. That’s the sneaky thing about our greatest strengths—they’re sometimes invisible to us. They feel like nothing special (which isn’t true!). This piece gets into why this happens and how to identify your greatest assets because as the article correctly points out, you can’t act on strengths you don’t recognize.

5. Solange: The brilliant ever-evolving icon (Gentlewoman Magazine)

I’m inspired by big thinkers, people who think expansively about themselves and their talents. Solange is the model for living in your strengths, so she’s my newsletter muse this week. She’s built a career entirely on her own frequency. I have a copy of this issue on my desk and I thumb through it when I need an extra boost.

At a certain point in your career, you’re being paid for the years it took to develop the skills and judgment that you have. Understanding how to maximize those things is not cheating. It’s the unlock behind your next up-level. Cheers to the summer and to plotting your next big move.

Good luck! See you next week.

Ashley

Summer is the best time for reinvention. Do you feel it too? Every summer I get the same feeling and it’s the urge to level up. This year is no different. Everyone’s talking about visibility — personal brands, staying relevant, becoming creators — as though disappearing were the worst thing that could happen to a person. I've been thinking about whether that's true.

This week I'm sharing 4 links that made me feel smarter this weekend: the case for micro retreats, unpacking Lizzo's failed comeback attempt, Fei-Fei Li's new spatial intelligence AI company, and Luddism is making a comeback.

4 links that made me feel smart

01. Have you heard of micro retreats?

I’ve been obsessed with the concept so much that I booked one of my own. Nothing snaps me back to myself quicker than a nice hotel, a massage, a notebook and a good book. My hot take: sometimes what we call work stress isn’t about workload at all, it’s about feeling stuck, unproductive, and under-rested. The fastest way out of that loop is pattern interruption. I felt it last month! Six hours at Off the Record did more for me than most weekends have. What caught my attention here is that the author time-boxes her retreats. 24 hours, no more.

I can’t imagine a better forcing function for creativity. If you want my itinerary, reply to this email ;)

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02. How Lizzo became one of pop culture’s biggest flops

Everyone’s obsessed with relevance now. Personal branding? Relevance. Job hugging? Relevance. Tech’s current obsession with taste? Relevance.

The trend cycle moves so fast that there’s no one failsafe solution for staying relevant, it just takes real work. Part of that work is knowing how to capture the minds, hearts, and attention of the public. Even celebrities are struggling to keep up. Just a few years ago Lizzo was everywhere, now she’s wondering how to hack the algorithm. The right visibility and self-promotion strategies matter whether you’re a Director in tech or Lizzo. Your work won’t speak for itself and talent is just one piece of the equation. Celebrities, they’re just like us.

JOIN THE CHAT

I want to know what you’re reading this summer

I asked what everyone is reading on the Reframed chat, there’s some great reccs. Hop in there if you need a new book to read and if you haven’t shared your faves yet, what are you waiting for?!

Share your summer reads

03. Inside Fei Fei Li’s $1B AI company

Fei-Fei Li is one of the few voices in AI who doesn’t feel like she’s selling a dystopian version of the future, which is exactly why I trust her. What stuck with me is that while everyone else seems to be chasing automation for its own sake, she’s building what she calls human-centered AI. Tech that serves as a co-pilot, not autopilot. Her vision reminded me of a lecture I sat in on at my UN seminar this spring on the role AI plays in preserving cultural heritage (like the 3D renders behind Notre Dame’s restoration). To be honest, what excites me isn't the tech. I’m glad she’s not asking us to disappear into a fake world (thank god - RIP metaverse). IMO the best tools have always solved real world problems or helped us understand our own world more deeply, so we can get back to actually living in it.

04. The moral case for being less online

Because I contain multitudes, I spend half my time outsourcing administrative tasks to AI and the other half fantasizing about throwing my phone into the reservoir. I'm not the only one. I was at a friend's birthday last week and the neo-Luddite movement came up. A few days later, I stumbled upon this piece in Vox highlighting the parallels between the advent of Luddism and today's burgeoning neo-Luddite movement. In 2026.

Anyway, there's a moment in the piece where someone asks how to actually cut back on social media and a political scientist just says: "I think we just have to make real life more attractive." I’d like to see him and Fei-Fei Li in conversation.

I feel like there’s something refreshing about more people wanting to tell their own stories. I wonder how much of that is in response to AI and to algorithms doing their best to serve us up our own personal desires. It certainly is for Lizzo, who’s chosen to talk about her failure instead of disappearing in shame (whether you think it’s cringey or not). Then there’s Fei-Fei Li talking about an AI vision for the future that’s different than her peers. She’s choosing to stay true to her beliefs and her real lived experience. And finally, people (and not just neo-Luddites) making choices about their own digital consumption and forming communities around it. Something feels different. I like it.

See you next week!

Ashley

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Insiders is my paid community for Reframed subscribers. It’s where you can connect with other Reframed readers and get more 1:1 career support from me. Last month we talked about burnout and how to set the right boundaries at work. It always amazes me how putting smart people in a room gets us from stuck and wondering what the right next step is, to having a fully baked action plan in less than an hour.

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Last week, I wrote about how to become a better presenter. If you get nervous, have sweaty palms when you’re called on in a meeting, or don’t feel like the most confident version of yourself when you present, you’ll find some helpful tips inside.

We treat being stuck as a verdict; as if someone with more authority looked at us, saw what was missing, and decided it wasn’t our turn yet.

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One of the biggest lies we’re sold about careers is that someone else has to tell you you’re ready for your next step. They don’t.

It’s a realization that I’ve only come to by running up against friction points in my career. The lows I’ve quietly filed away in my “flops” folder. Navigating them felt impossible while I was in it, but now I know that some of my biggest wins were waiting on the other side.

After all these years, I still viscerally remember how stuck each one made me feel.

CAREER STORIES

I cried over a spreadsheet. Then I changed the trajectory of my career

I had a manager who gave me a crash course in toxic leadership. He took credit for my best work, blamed me when things went sideways, and manufactured drama between me and my colleagues. He controlled leadership's perception of me and used it for his own benefit. In the end, months of anguish forced me to take control back: I advocated my way onto another team.

Getting away from that toxic manager meant moving to a team and a new manager who became an advocate and an ally of mine. Waiting for my old manager to move me would’ve gotten me nowhere. Taking action by advocating for myself is how I built the momentum (and support) to switch teams.

Another low: the afternoon an outside consultant showed me I was the lowest-paid leader on my team. He slid me a spreadsheet and told me to check the salaries tab — covertly signaling what no one inside the org would have (that’s not how corporate works!). And to this day, I’m grateful for the gift. He didn’t just share data with me, he inspired me to learn how to negotiate.

After crying over that spreadsheet and venting to friends about the disparity for months on end, I asked for a raise.

I decided that being the lowest-paid leader on the team didn’t reflect my remit or my value. From the outside, you don’t see the spreadsheet, the heartbreak, or the months of working up the courage to advocate for myself. You’d just see the LinkedIn updates and $50K in raises over 12 months. It looks lucky on paper, like a reward for the work I was doing. It wasn’t. I fought for it.

We treat being stuck as a verdict; as if someone with more authority looked at us, saw what was missing, and decided it wasn’t our turn yet.

Then, we do exactly what we were rewarded for our whole lives as high achievers. We find our deficits, surface them to our leaders, ask for help closing them, and then wait for someone to tell us we’re ready. And when that doesn’t work, you get frustrated.

If you’re reading Reframed, let me be clear: you don’t have gap that’s preventing you from getting to the next level. It’s that no one above you is in any hurry to make the path clear for you. And, most of the time, the reason isn’t necessarily sinister. People are looking for leaders who can confidently step into what’s next, who know they’ve earned their next step and can articulate why. Asking signals you’re not ready, telling signals that you are. So they wait for you to signal that you’re ready.

REFRAME THIS

How to ask for growth when it feels like your manager is being cagey about your next steps

So that discomfort you’re feeling? The frustration with your role, the sense that you’re not valued, the suspicion that you’re capable of more than what you’re currently taking on? You’re right to feel it and you’re probably ready to do something about it. The solution is a conversation, usually a 1:1 with your manager, and the nerve to walk into the convo differently than you have before.

Here’s what to do:

1. Get clear about what you want

Not "growth." Not "more." The specific title, scope, salary, or project that you want to take on. This is the step everyone skips, because staying vague is comfortable. And I get it…if you never name it, you can never be told no. But vague is also how you end up stuck in your manager's version of your career instead of your own. Do the unglamorous work of deciding what you're actually after, so you can steer the conversation towards a destination.

2. State your strengths, wins, and tell them what you need from them.

This is the entire reframe. Early on in our careers, it was reasonable to ask a manager to find our gaps and help build a plan to close them. But that thinking doesn’t serve you as a leader. You've just made your growth their project; one they have to prioritize against everything else on their plate. Leaders drive their own careers. They don't outsource their career plan to the person above them. So come in having already done the thinking. Use this frame:

• Here are the strengths I bring to this team.

• Here’s what I’m already doing at the next level.

• Here’s the one or two things I need from you to get there.

3. Get a commitment

Telling instead of asking doesn't mean you ask for nothing. It means you stop asking them to assess whether you’re ready and start asking them to commit to your next steps. When you ask what do you think? or what do I need to do to get there?, you point them at your gaps. They go to the smaller things you're still working on, the stuff they'd “want to see more of first.” An opinion is free. It costs them nothing and commits them to nothing, which is exactly why a cagey manager will hand you one all day.

So don’t ask what they think if you want a solid plan. Ask what happens next instead: What are the steps and by when? That turns the conversation into a plan you can hold them to.

Instead of asking for their take, ask them to commit: Are we on the same page and what are the actual steps that get me there?

Or, if you’d rather not spend another six months reading the tea leaves:

Is [the title, the role, the raise] on the table for me this year?

See how different that sounds?

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I was inspired to write this after facilitating a workshop last week for Her Workplace on the “3 Habits That Make You Look Less Senior Than You Are”. We went into way more detail than I was able to in this newsletter.

During Q&A, the discussion turned to how to ask for growth. The vibe in the room changed entirely when I shared the reframe I just outlined. If you want to grow as a leader, treat your frustration as information. A sign that something needs to change and that you’ve likely outgrown where you are. You’re ready, you just have to let everyone else know.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

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I created Insiders for people who want more than ideas.

When you join, you get:

• A community: a group of smart people navigating their careers. It’s a space to ask questions and get answers from myself and other high achievers, and build a sense of agency around how you navigate your career.

• A monthly Insiders-only coaching call: Bring your real career questions (live or anonymously) and I’ll coach you through them in a supportive group setting. You’ll leave with practical next steps you can actually use.

• A growing library of recorded sessions: Get access to past Insiders calls anytime, so you can learn from conversations beyond your own and revisit the guidance when you need it.

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Join Insiders for $250/year.

If you’re looking for thoughtful career support, sharper perspective, and a community that helps you feel less alone while you grow, I’d love to have you.

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In my last newsletter, I wrote about my first in-person event for senior leaders: Off the Record. If being in a room full of other ambitious senior leaders for an afternoon, where you feel seen and inspired sounds exciting to you, join the waitlist. OTR is truly unlike any other networking event or workshop.

As many as 3 in 4 people have a fear of public speaking. I’ve learned that becoming a great presenter is about preparation. Here’s how to do it (from someone who used to need days to prep for a single meeting).

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LenLen is the kind of place you have to lean across the table to be heard in. A former client (now a friend) told me about it. Going there with her for the first time felt like being let in on a secret. The Thai food is, in my opinion, some of the best in the city. On a weeknight it’s all chatter and warm light.

Last week, I shared the magic of LenLen with a different friend. I had a cocktail, my friend had a glass of bubbles, and we were deep in a recap of Off the Record when she set her glass down and paused me mid-thought.

“Okay, first things first,” she said. “How did you get so good at presenting?”

I let the question sit for a second.

It’s a gift to be asked how you do something that you’ve stopped noticing you do. Somewhere along the way, presenting became a thing I just loved doing. Put me in a conference room, hand me a clicker, and I’m in a flow state.

When I was full-time, I’d sometimes even build my decks the hour before a meeting, walk in calm, and land all my points. I love it…which I know may sound a little deranged to the roughly three in four people who feel some flavor of dread about public speaking. FYI - at one point it outranked death on the list of things we’re most afraid of. Death!

I owed her an honest answer, but it was a challenge to remember how I got here. I started with the asterisks: I took two semesters of rhetoric in college and my major that required lots of group presentations. I shared these things because I’m wary of advice that pretends everyone starts at the same baseline.

But I actually do believe most people are wrong when they assume presenting well comes down to natural charisma, that you either have "it" or you don't. Presenting is a skill, like writing a tight memo or running a good meeting, and those skills get built through preparation and reps. Almost all of that work happens before you're standing in front of an audience at work.

So at the table, I shared what came to mind: practice out loud, record yourself, watch it back. The rest? I worked out while outlining this newsletter. Here's the full answer I wish I'd had ready, somewhere between the curry, the crab fried rice, and the cocktails.

INSIGHTS

4 tactics that made me a confident presenter at work

1. Come up with a presentation goal.

Most people treat a presentation as a delivery mechanism: here's the work, here are the numbers, thanks for your time. If that's your mental model, I want you to reframe it. A presentation is an opportunity to engineer a specific outcome. That starts with naming your goal in a single sentence before you draft any content.

In my previous roles, my goals would sound like: I need alignment across three teams. I want the execs to trust me with this initiative. I want my team to leave feeling energized and empowered. Once you have that objective, every other choice — structure, tone, what to include, what to cut — will be easier for you to make.

2. Make an outline before you start drafting your slides.

Once the goal is set, the real question gets simple: what does this audience need, and in what order, to get there? If I was introducing a new initiative, I didn't open with the initiative. I open with the why because a room of people that don't understand the problem will never care about your solution. Slides come last. They exist as a visual aid. Design them first and you'll spend your time reverse-engineering an argument out of a laundry list of bullets, and your audience will feel the lack of cohesion. Use your outline to ensure you’re guiding them to a conclusion.

3. Make your slide titles descriptive and memorable.

I stole this one from a CEO I worked with and it changed everything for me. Most slide titles squander the best real estate on the page with things like: “Q1 Status.” “Financials.” “Project Update.” They’re filler. Instead use your slide headers to make a claim:

• Instead of “Project Updates” → Nine of ten projects are on track this quarter or

• Instead “Q1 Status” → Our new review process lifted project completion rates by 15%.

This is super helpful in underlining your speaking points. Tight slides + confident speaker = highly effective presenter.

1 INSIGHT

And this isn’t just a style preference. According to Michael Alley’s research at Penn State: audiences shown slides with full-sentence headlines understood and remembered the material better than those shown standard topic titles and the gap in there understanding of the content was still there a week later.

Read that again. Using a pithy headline isn’t just a dash of pizazz.

4. Rehearse out loud and record yourself once.

When I took Rhetoric in college, I gave speeches to a class of 30 (plus our instructor) and was required to watch the recordings for homework. My friend cringed when I told her this and maybe you just did too.

Those reps were awkward and somewhat painful, but they helped. I continued the habit post-grad, I practiced delivering my presentations to a wall, pretending I was up in front of my team. Occasionally I filmed myself, which was still as uncomfortable as it sounds but worth it.

Your camera is honest in a way no colleague will be. It catches the ums, the rushed transitions, the sentence that made sense in your head and nowhere else. You’ll get better by hearing yourself before everyone else on Zoom or in your next meeting does. You can also practice with your favorite LLM and ask it to give you feedback on your delivery and coherence.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

What looks like ease in front of a room is almost never a gift. It’s the result of many small, unglamorous decisions made days earlier, alone, and when nobody was watching. The naturals you’re picturing weren’t always winging it. They just did prep work somewhere you couldn’t see.

You don’t have to be fearless to be good at presenting, just prepared. So before your next big meeting, don’t start prepping by fussing over your slides. Start with a goal.

The confidence comes later.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

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I created Insiders for people who want more than ideas, they want real support, honest perspectives, and a community of smart people navigating their careers. It’s a space ask questions and get answers from myself and other high achievers, and build a sense of agency around how you navigate your career.

When you join, you get:

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Last week, I wrote about how the things that are easiest for you are actually your hidden strengths. You discount them, because you mistake your level of ease for a universal truth. But the reality is, what’s easy for you is often game changing for others.

Enjoy this week’s edition of Reframed, I’m sharing a peek into my in-person experiences!

Last Saturday, I hosted Off The Record at A24's New York offices.

It was the first of my invite-only event series for ambitious women in leadership. A space where relationship building is central and where you can have the types of career conversations that you can’t have with family, friends, and coworkers.

It was incredible.

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PERSONAL STORY

The 1 thing my first leadership conference unlocked

I didn’t always know what it meant to feel seen in professional spaces. I thought you showed up to one of these events ready to show off the shiniest bits of yourself, network with as many people as possible, and collect business cards. I attended my very first women’s leadership conference shortly after I became a Director. I was convinced I was well on my way to solving my core development issue: executive presence. Shuffling through a crowd of hundreds, I floated through sessions feeling both inspired and invisible.

Until one of our speakers asked us to turn to a neighbor, introduce ourselves, and share what we were hoping to get out of the day. After a brief intro, I told my partner that I was there to work on my executive presence. She looked at me quizzically and gently pushed back. She told me what she observed (quiet confidence, poise, someone well spoken) and, to her, that person wasn’t lacking executive presence. She didn’t offer a framework or a book, she instead offered me a reframe.

I didn’t know it then, but she was subtly signaling to me that I needn’t spend valuable time that day obsessing over my perceived deficits. I should challenge myself to make sure everyone saw the person she did. She empowered and inspired me. I don’t remember her name, but she changed me.

That moment made me question everything I thought I knew about myself as a leader. She didn't fix me. She refused to confirm the story I'd internalized about myself and that reframe changed me more than any conference session ever could. It ultimately became the foundation of my coaching philosophy and why I launched Off the Record.

1 INSIGHT

Your brand is how others experience you

One of the most memorable moments at Off The Record came during the personal branding session. I designed the exercise deliberately, in a way where I hoped the attendees would open up and uncover something real about themselves. What surfaced was consistent across almost every woman in the room: there was a gap between how these women described themselves and how others experienced them. Their words weren’t inaccurate, they were just smaller in their own telling than who they were in reality. Even to a person they’d met just a few hours ago.

I wasn't exempt from this either. An attendee described the exercise I'd designed as "Maya Angelou coded." I would never have described it that way.

It took me straight back to my first leadership conference.

In less than 10 minutes, someone told me that I didn’t have an executive presence problem and freed me from thinking about myself as someone with a deficit. I was someone who had a skill that others weren’t seeing. I was in control of how I chose to show up from that point forward.

Branding is similar.

The language we use to describe ourselves influences what others think about us.

When I think about hearing people’s shares after the branding exercise at Off The Record, how their partners thought about their work in much more impressive terms than they did. It was a reminder that when we shrink or struggle to find the right words, it’s not because you aren’t impressive. You just haven’t been given the right mirror.

THE WRAP UP

Closing thoughts

I’ve spent most of my career as a high achiever, the target of marketing, events, and programs designed based on the premise that women have deficits, gaps that need to be closed.

You need to be a girl boss, you need to lean in. Well now, the girl boss era is dead.

You need to become an entrepreneur, but you need to learn business fundamentals first and join this program.

You need to upskill.

You need to be trained in order to lead well.

You need to ask for more. You need to negotiate more.

It’s exhausting.

Researchers finally caught up to what many of us had already felt. A recent study proved that these well-meaning interventions don’t just fall short, they reinforce the very stereotypes they claim to dismantle. It’s no wonder why the “women are being left behind by AI” messaging has fallen short.

It’s no wonder many women (including myself) struggle to define their personal brands.

And now that you know this, make a different choice for yourself. Be bolder, tell yourself you’re the shit. Because if you’re reading Reframed, others are probably thinking it anyway.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

PS - if you want to join the waitlist for future OTR events, sign up here.

EXTRA CREDIT

Personal branding resources

Here’s some of my favorite resources on personal branding:

• Personal brand is a dirty word but you might want one anyway ()

• How to Build Your Personal Brand without Burning Out ()

• Personal branding: What it is and why it matters (HBS)

Join Reframed Insiders.

I can’t coach everyone 1:1, so I designed Insiders as a space where you can get critical career advice. Every week, you get access to my ideas, and as an Insider you’ll also get access to my time.

You’ll receive:

• A monthly Insiders-only Zoom: you bring your real career questions (live or anonymous submission) and I coach you through them on a group call. Specific, actionable, yours. Our first one is the week of May 4th (get ready!), you’ll get a calendar invite when you subscribe.

• A growing video library: you’ll have exclusive access to every recorded Insiders session. If you miss one, don’t worry - the archive is available to you.

• 20% off Deep Dive Sessions: Need 1:1 time with me? Insiders receive priority booking access for one-off coaching sessions: one hour, one problem, one clear path forward.

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Last week, I shared 5 links that’ll make you feel smarter. If you didn’t read it, they’re still relevant. The most popular links were: how to channel your frustration into something productive and surprising lessons from the top 1% of earners. The fact that these were the most clicked is very Reframed coded.

This week, I’m resharing a newsletter from my archive; it’s evergreen advice. I actually saw “Maya” in person this weekend — she’s still flourishing at work, which is a testament to the power of leaning into your strengths. Enjoy this week’s edition of Reframed!

BIG UPDATE

I got a new headshot recently.

I’ve earned the right to be obsessed with it! My advice for a good shot is:

• Wear something that makes you feel confident

  • Some people say it should be something you wear everyday - I disagree. Others say it has to be a suit, I also disagree with this (unless your industry requires it!). What it should be is something that fits incredibly well and matches your personality. That’s why I went with this suit.

• Find headshots you like for direction

  • I used Pinterest and Cosmos to find inspo but I also used them to practice posing ahead of time. Practicing helped me figure out what angles looked good for my body & what facial expressions worked for me. When it was time to step in front of the camera, I already knew I preferred my left side and what kind of smiles looked best.

• Get makeup done. Just do it.

If you want specific hot tips, reach out to me :)

CLIENT STORIES

Why Your “Easy” Work Is Your Biggest Career Asset

There’s a theme that’s been dominating my coaching calls recently. High achievers want to push themselves; they want more challenge and more fulfillment.

I love that energy, so I lean into it with them. The thing that shocks them is the realization that sometimes the quickest path to the next level isn’t developing new skills; it’s capitalizing on what already comes “easy” to them. I don’t mean this as an invitation to be mediocre or lazy, that’s not what we do here on Reframed! It’s about recognizing that your natural strengths are your highest-leverage assets. When you focus ruthlessly on what comes naturally to you, you aren’t taking the “easy way out”. You’re identifying the most efficient way to stand out and get ahead.

Take me, for example. Pattern matching comes incredibly easy to me. Specifically, the ability to do things like look at an org chart, assess talent, understand an organization’s goals, and see exactly who needs to be where to win. It’s why I was a great operator and it’s how I scaled teams so effectively. It’s my unfair advantage and leaning into it is what also makes me an excellent career strategist.

Recently, I coached a client through identifying her edge and using it as leverage. I want to share that with you all.

Two weeks into her new role at a growing tech company, Maya called me feeling uncertain.

“I think I might be overthinking this,” she said. “Everything they’re asking me to do feels...straightforward.”

Maya had just landed a strategic operations role after years of project management experience. When she arrived, she discovered teams were operating without basic coordination frameworks. There were smart people everywhere working in silos, missing deadlines, and generally unclear on who owned what. The kind of situation that is simultaneously an operators worst nightmare (if it persists) and their dream problem to solve (if they’re empowered to fix it).

So Maya did what felt natural: she created a simple project management template that teams could actually use.

“I literally made a basic framework,” she told me.

“When I showed it to the head of finance, he said ‘Where have you been all my life?’ But Ashley, this was just standard project management.”

I want to pause here for a second and address the obvious question: how do we know Maya wasn’t just doing something actually simple that anyone could have replicated (lol)?

Recent research from HBR offers some insight. When testing experts versus novices, researchers found that genuine expertise actually prevents people from “overclaiming.” True experts are more accurate about what they know and precisely because they know it so well, they often undervalue its complexity.

Maya’s ten years of project management experience allowed her to quickly assess what was missing, synthesize a solution, and implement it effectively. What felt "standard" to her was actually sophisticated pattern recognition. And that simple tool enabled teams to work in ways they weren’t able to previously.

Easy for you, game-changing for them.

I loved hearing this scenario from Maya. It was a signal to me that she’s somewhere where she can make an impact and her repeatedly doing what she’s good at is going to be consequential for her career, in all the right ways.

THE FRAMEWORK

Find Your Hidden Competitive Advantage With These 3 Simple Questions

So let’s dig into yours. If you haven’t done this type of reflection, you’re probably thinking “well, what am I good at?”. If you feel stuck, try starting here. Reflect on things like:

• What have you done at work recently that feels “obvious” to you, yet consistently elicits a visceral “thank goodness you’re here” response from your peers or even your manager?

• When you’re working on a project and things aren’t going as expected, where do you focus your time and energy first?

• What types of problems do you look to solve time and time again at work? For example, do you instinctively focus on the people, the process, or the data?

Take a few minutes to jot down the answers to the above questions today. Save it on your phone, your computer, or keep it pinned to your desk. The next time you catch yourself saying, “I literally could have pulled this off the internet,” I want you to look back at that list and shift your energy.

The internet has the information, but it doesn’t have your judgment.

It doesn’t have years and years of pattern recognition that allowed you to know which information on the internet mattered to your unique situation.

It doesn’t know how to apply that information to a room full of complex teams all operating in your specific context.

But you do.

At a certain point in your career, you’re being paid for the years it took to know exactly which template to build. And that’s not cheating. It’s actually the highest form of mastery.

Good luck! See you next week.

Ashley

Join Reframed Insiders.

The reality is, I can’t coach everyone 1:1. So I designed Insiders as a space where you can get critical career advice. Every week, you get access to my ideas, and as an Insider you’ll also get access to my time.

You’ll receive:

• A monthly Insiders-only Zoom: you bring your real career questions (live or anonymous submission) and I coach you through them on a group call. Specific, actionable, yours. Our first one is the week of May 4th (get ready!), you’ll get a calendar invite when you subscribe.

• A growing video library: you’ll have exclusive access to every recorded Insiders session. If you miss one, don’t worry - the archive is available to you.

• 20% off Deep Dive Sessions: Need 1:1 time with me? Insiders receive priority booking access for one-off coaching sessions: one hour, one problem, one clear path forward.

• Direct access to me: DM me and drop questions in the Reframed chat on Substack. Plus, you’ll also be able to share opportunities with other Insiders and build your network.

Join for $250/year!

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Last week, shared her advice for networking that’s more effective than sending a slew of cold DMs on LinkedIn. She used these strategies to land a new VP role. It’s a great read.

The weekend was rainy which usually activates one of two modes in me: potato or productive. I chose productivity:

• I finished my first monthlong ceramics seminar (I’m feeling very, very humbled by being a beginner at something all over again)

• I saw a Broadway show (Cats: The Jellicle Ball is a MUST SEE!)

• I saw two movies (see I Love Boosters and Tuner - I recommend both)

• And I finished planning my first in-person event(!!)

This week’s newsletter is light. Enjoy and happy Memorial Day, friends!

My tips for getting promoted, giving tough feedback, and being more confident (especially when it doesn’t come naturally to you!). Plus 2 bonus reads about pet peeves and the most successful women in America. Enjoy!

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Last year, I launched a newsletter called Open Tabs. I settled on the name after asking ChatGPT what I should call a newsletter roundup of my favorite career related links (lol). I went with it, but the name never really felt like me — I loved curating links and shearing my insights on the news and career resources. Ultimately, I stopped sending Open Tabs because I had to invest my time to other things, but I miss it. Maybe I’ll bring it back when I land on a name I love.

Anyway, this week, I’m channeling a little Open Tabs (RIP) energy!

3 THINGS TO IMPROVE YOUR WORK THIS WEEK

If you’re thinking about how to get promoted…

A few of you have asked how to position yourself for a promo. My advice is align your work with what the business (and/or your manager) deems important. Aligning yourself with high priority initiatives or investment areas creates a positive halo effect on you and your work. If you want to dive deeper, my recent newsletter where I asked 6 executives how they make promotion decisions is really good.

Giving tough feedback unlocks the next level of leadership

One of the signs is that someone is struggling as a leader is letting performance issues slip. I stumbled upon this while reading a piece in Forbes about signs someone on your team needs executive coaching. I can’t say I’m surprised.

I wrote about the art of giving feedback without being mean last quarter. It’s an important skill, giving useful and direct feedback is an art. It’s as much about the message as it is about being a good (and intuitive) communicator. If you’re stalling on giving someone the feedback they need to course correct, start here →

Can confidence really be manufactured?

My answer is absolutely, it definitely can. And even though I feel like “fake it till you make it” is misguided advice, there’s some truth to it. Sometimes you do have to act like you’re confident, like you deserve to be in certain spaces, before you truly do feel confident in them. There’s a reason why speaking up is always a hot topic here at Reframed. The part that’s tricky is not making the mistake of waiting to feel confident before sharing your ideas in meetings. It reminded me of this piece I wrote →

2 ARTICLES I ENJOYED

I love bonding over pet peeves

You should read ’s Things That Annoy Me series. He published part 2 this weekend and I couldn’t click on it fast enough. Notable annoyances (notable because I personally relate to them):

• “Maxxing” tacked onto the end of words

• Not a pet peeve but “people who wear workout clothes all day after having worked out in the morning” reminded me of the time I did this in Palm Beach and an older woman at the bookstore gave me the nastiest look lol - OH WELL!)

• Restaurants that don’t seat you until your entire party arrives. Please let me sit down and order a dirty martini while I wait!!

The common traits across the most successful women in America

I read this article and knew I wanted to find a way share it here. The top 1% of earners make >$775k (only 5% are women). Here’s what Emily Riley found after conducting a survey of them (some of themes in the article are things I talk about on Reframed):

• They negotiate salaries more often than their peers

• They have degrees from top ranked universities

• They’re more likely to be married and have multiple children

• A significant cohort of this group experienced financial instability as a child

• They are petty (well the article says they are not thick skinned but petty is more my style). One of my favorite pieces of advice is channeling your frustration into winning - it works.

The last 2 points are the exact reasons why you might find yourself thinking that you can’t get to where you want to be in your career but let me offer you a counterpoint. There’s a particular kind of drive that doesn’t come from just being a confident person or having access. It comes from the opposite. From the memory of not having enough or the sting of being underestimated and never forgetting that feeling. Sometimes, you don’t have to let it go. You can use it.

I hope you enjoy your short week. See you next Monday!

Ashley

Join Reframed Insiders.

The reality is, I can’t coach everyone 1:1. So I designed Insiders as a space where you can get critical career advice. Every week, you get access to my ideas, and as an Insider you’ll also get access to my time.

You’ll receive:

• A monthly Insiders-only Zoom: you bring your real career questions (live or anonymous submission) and I coach you through them on a group call. Specific, actionable, yours. Our first one is the week of May 4th (get ready!), you’ll get a calendar invite when you subscribe.

• A growing video library: you’ll have exclusive access to every recorded Insiders session. If you miss one, don’t worry - the archive is available to you.

• 20% off Deep Dive Sessions: Need 1:1 time with me? Insiders receive priority booking access for one-off coaching sessions: one hour, one problem, one clear path forward.

• Direct access to me: DM me and drop questions in the Reframed chat on Substack. Plus, you’ll also be able to share opportunities with other Insiders and build your network.

Join for $250/year!

Subscribe now

Last week’s newsletter was about how to identify which things to let go of, so that you can free up your time and stretch your team effectively. Summer is here and I’m so excited about the weather in NYC. I spent lots of time outside this weekend (allergies be damned). I’m feeling optimistic about summer and today’s newsletter.

When you stop networking like you need something, you’ll start building the kind of relationships that lead you to opportunities you want.

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When I feel like I should be networking more, I channel the unabashed confidence of my early 20s. Back then I developed relationships because I was bold enough to say hello, send a DM, or bullshit my way into a situation I had no business being in (like NYFW in the early aughts).

Central to all those relationships and opportunities was the belief that I could (and would) do great things. I was genuinely interested in people who were strivers (like me) and who were doing the things I wanted to be doing.

Networking landed me my first clients as a coach. Networking is why I have never had to “find” clients. I even wrote about some of the non-traditional ways I’ve built relationships on LinkedIn last week.

I will always invest my time in building relationships.

I’m lucky enough to have witnessed my clients do the same.

A few months ago, one of my clients wanted to pursue something new.

She landed a new VP level role in 4 months.

When connected with me for a coaching consult we couldn’t remember exactly how our paths crossed, but we instantly clicked and decided to work together.

What unfolded over the next few months was nothing short of amazing.

She found a new job in 4 coaching sessions by networking like the expert operator she is — with precision and by being laser focus on her end goal. We spent our first few sessions ironing out her professional brand, her positioning, and what she wanted next. And every time we spoke, Rachel updated me on exciting conversations she was having, the exclusive events she was invited to, or the introductions she got to super connectors.

Once she landed her offer, I knew I wanted her to share her secrets.

Rachel is now VP of Operations at Arta, a fast scaling tech company in the art, luxury, and collectibles market. Before joining the team at Arta, she’d scaled more than a handful of high-growth startups in growth, bizops, and revops roles.

Enjoy Rachel’s formula for networking her way into a new role in <4 months.

You’re going to want to bookmark this one.

Stop Networking Like You Need Something

A guest letter by

This may sound dramatic, but I owe my career to networking. I grew up in a small town, graduated with a liberal arts degree, and had no blueprint to follow for a big career. I just knew I had outsized ambition to build an interesting life.

That drive landed me my first VP role in tech before I turned 30.

While I earned the growth by working my tail off, the access to many of those opportunities came through my network.

When I talk about networking, I’m not referring to those cringey happy hours in beige ballrooms where you trade questions like “what do YOU do?” [shudders in Ann Taylor Loft]. I strongly believe networking can become one of your best assets for building a more interesting, fulfilling life.

Not transactional networking. I’m talking about a reframe of networking as a life investment that pays off in dividends.

Here are the 3 strategies that have helped me unlock opportunities in my career.

1. Network before you need it

In the same way you start saving years before retirement, start building your network long before you want to switch jobs or pursue a new opportunity. Connect with interesting people early and often and don’t limit your outreach to contacts who can open a door for you right now. Meaningful networking isn’t transactional, it compounds.

Below is a non-comprehensive list of people who, despite having no immediate “purpose,” I intentionally kept warm in my network. That relatively small time investment over the years proved to have immeasurable value down the road.

• An account exec who sold me enterprise SaaS in 2018 became someone I occasionally swapped LinkedIn messages with. Three years later, she referred me to speak on a panel, which led to even more speaking opportunities.

• A former colleague from 2015 was someone whose career moves I kept an eye on. In 2024, I recommended them for a niche role in my organization. Six months later, I was their first call for a major internal initiative that opened up a new role for me too.

• A candidate who interviewed at my former company in 2021 stayed loosely in my orbit. Years later, he connected me to an incredible unposted exec role.

Making or maintaining connections can be as simple as commenting on a LinkedIn post, sending a quick “congrats!” when you see they have news, or (if relevant) forwarding the occasional “this post looked like something that you might find interesting” message.

2. Reach out to people you admire without an agenda

There’s a school of thought that you need to have a perfectly polished action item to justify sending someone a message. This makes me crazy as someone who both sends and, especially in recent years, receives a ton of outreach.

Unless you have a clear, timely ask, do not make an ask.

Outreach just for the sake of it is perfectly ok (dare I say… encouraged!) as long as it (a) doesn’t create work for the receiver and (b) adds some sort of value, even if it’s just a kind sentiment.

EXAMPLE**

“Hey Ashley! I noticed your Substack notes have been on point recently, glad to have your content in my feed.”

This passes the outreach test because it’s brief, it’s genuine (this is key, people can detect BS so please don’t bother), and it humanizes the interaction. Even if she doesn’t respond right away, she’ll start to recognize my name as someone in her orbit. Everyone loves positive feedback (receiving a message like this makes my week!) and research shows that it triggers endorphins for the giver as well. Sending a message like the above is a win/win all around.

You want to position yourself as a warm contact who might be worth having a conversation with now or simply remain top of mind for a connection down the road.

**NOTE :)

This example is 100% real and though I’ve been interacting with Ashley regularly in a coaching capacity, I’m pretty sure my Substack compliment is what sparked the invitation for me to contribute what you’re reading right now. A little meta, but it’s proof that this works.

In general, you should treat every outreach as a means to add value in the world, regardless of the timing or ultimate outcome. Networking karma is real.

3. Diversify your network

So often people double down on connections in their industry or people in similar roles and forget about life outside their day to day. While it’s a great approach for commiserating on shared experiences, it limits your access to opportunities. Your environment shapes what feels possible. Sometimes the most useful thing you can do is change the “room” you’re in and expand your surface area for luck.

With an abundance of networking platforms and online communities, both paid and free, there’s no excuse to skip opportunities to engage with people through various social networks. In fact, there’s strong research that points to “weak ties” as a key source of mobility and opportunity.

QUICK NOTE FROM ASHLEY

I want to plug Reframed here. I was blown away during the first Reframed Insiders call when a reader mentioned that she connected with another Insider after discovering her in my newsletter. They’re partnering on a work project. If that isn’t networking, I don’t know what is :)

Sometimes, networks are hiding in plain sight. And other times, they’re right in your inbox, every single Monday morning. If you’re looking to expand your network, talk to people other than your friends, partner, or family about upleveling at work, or just want a community of smart people to gather with once a month (instead of reading Reframed solo) - join Insiders.

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In case you didn’t catch it earlier, some of my best job opportunities came through weak ties and that’s not an uncommon (or unintentional) experience.

I often joke that I love collecting people and experiences. And doing so is more accessible than ever in our digital first world. Although, I do have to admit that I strongly believe one in-person conversation is better than countless DMs.

A few ways to expand your network:

• Join professional communities and actually engage in the content (that latter part is key, lurking isn’t going to do you much good)

• Befriend colleagues outside your department and get curious about their work

• Intentionally curate your LinkedIn and social media feeds to expose yourself to new people, ideas, and disciplines

To add another angle here, when you’re a marketer in a sea of marketers it can feel hard to stand out. When you diversify the spaces you engage in, you’re increasing the likelihood to be THE marketer in the group which inherently keeps you top of mind.

Remember, the more surface area you create in your network, the more access you have to a diverse pool of opportunities, ideas, and talent. The real magic happens when you use that access generously. Make introductions within your network for no reason other than to be useful. Become a force multiplier.

Be the super connector and the easily connected.

The best networkers are not just collecting access. They are creating it.

TL;DR

Small investments in your network have a way of paying off, often in ways you never could have predicted. Drop the idea that networking is quid pro quo or something to be suffered through.

The real magic starts when you treat it as creating connections, not transactions.

Rachel Nazhand is VP of Operations at Arta, a fast scaling tech company in the art, luxury, and collectibles market.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I think it’s so funny that Rachel ended her guest letter with the “I know a guy who knows a guy” meme. That “I know a guy” slash “I have a buddy who does x” energy is what drives me to build the ecosystem I have online and offline with Reframed. It’s never a bad thing to know (lots of) people. It’s one of the driving factors for me hosting my first (invite only) in-person event in the coming weeks.

I hope you found Rachel’s tips and energy as infectious as I have over the last few months of working with her. I like to say that I work with people who have the capacity to run the world one day and I truly believe it.

What’s one way you’ve used your network to find an opportunity you wouldn’t have found otherwise?

Thank you to Rachel for so generously sharing her insights on Reframed this week.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

I’m an executive coach that supports high achieving Directors, VP, and C-level executives with career strategy. You can also hire me to facilitate workshops.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about how we talk about hard career stuff: your friends love you, but they don’t always have the context. And your colleagues have the context, but you can’t always be fully vulnerable, because it’s work and you have to save face. So you have to constantly edit yourself.

We somehow built a space where neither of those things were true. You shared real situations (layoffs, org politics, burnout, pivots) and everyone just got it. Immediately. No explanations necessary. No worrying about how your shares would land. We were just a group of people who have experienced similar issues at work, with no reason to hold back.

T…

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Last week was awesome.

• I wrote about how to be confident even when you’re not feeling like the most confident version of yourself.

• I hosted the first Reframed Insiders call. I won’t share details here but I will say that I left the call really impressed with how generous everyone was with their ideas, their advice, and their experiences. I can’t wait for the next one.

• I spoke on a panel about navigating career transitions in tech, what to do, the current jobs landscape, and what the biggest differentiator is for talent.

• I attended a trust voices breakfast hosted by Blomma, an AI coaching platform that launched last week. We talked about the future of work and why community and soft skills are more important than ever. Today’s newsletter is sponsored by Blomma.

What do you do when your calendar is packed but everyone still needs more from you?

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When you get promoted, a sneaky little thing happens. You suddenly realize that your success no longer hinges on your ability to do YOUR job, your job is now to make other people better at theirs. But the reality most managers are living looks more like this:

• Your team brings you problems they should be solving themselves.

• Your bosses keep adding to your plate.

• Your Slack messages keep piling up and they’re filled of more questions, requests, and non-urgent issues masquerading as emergencies.

Somewhere in between all of that, you’re supposed to find time to actually coach people through their growth.

This cycle perpetuates itself because when you’re the one solving everything, your team never learns to solve things without you.

I see this constantly with the leaders I coach.

One c-level client recently came to me completely underwater not because she was bad at her job, but because everything defaulted to her. Her team had no clarity on who owned what, so every question, every decision, every problem landed in her inbox.

She was the bottleneck. And she didn’t even realize it was happening.

Many of you probably feel this way or have felt this way at one point or another in your career. The demands of “Swiss Army Knife Leadership” mean that you have to flex across functions, switch hats constantly, and carry a wider load than ever. Every single leader right now is constantly doing more with less. Full stop.

You’re expected to be at least five different things simultaneously:

• A reporting and metrics wizard

• A people manager, coach, and task executor

• A financial forecaster and planner

• A macro-trend interpreter

• A crisis manager

And sometimes all of that happens in the same meeting.

It’s a challenging time to be in leadership. Since this topic comes up quite a bit with my clients, I wanted to share some of the things that are helping them create capacity when they’re working with very limited time.

INSIGHTS

3 Strategies To Grow Your Team and Free Up Your Time

The fix isn’t working harder or finding extra hours that don’t exist in your schedule. The leaders I coach don’t have basic “time management” problems btw. Their problems are much more nuanced than that. It’s part responsibility, part unclear ownership across the team, and part behavioral defaults that got them to where they are but don’t serve them at this level. Here are the things that actually moved the needle and got them operating at the right level:

1. Provide role clarity and transfer authority.

The single biggest unlock for one of my recent clients was building clear documentation on every single team members’ roles, her expectations of them, and their commitments; making it crystal clear who was responsible for what. Once everyone knew what they owned, work stopped defaulting to her automatically. She could delegate and simultaneously manage expectations up, down, and across the organization.

If you want to try this: start with a RACI matrix, a simple responsibility framework that maps who is Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, and Informed for each function or project. I built one you can use as a starting point → My RACI Template

And if delegation is something you’ve always struggled to let go of without things falling apart, this HBR episode is worth ~20 minutes → The Essentials: Delegating Effectively. I’ve also covered delegating here on Reframed.

2. Raise the bar on what your team brings to you.

If your team shows up to 1:1s with chaos (aka their problems, status updates that could’ve been an email, and seeking answers to basic questions covered in existing documentation) you’ll spend critical 1:1 time triaging instead of coaching. Set a new bar. Teach them to come prepared with the following: here’s the situation, here’s what I’ve already tried, here’s what I’m thinking. One small structural change like this can completely transform the quality of the conversations you have with your team — you can direct that energy to strategy.

3. Instead of saying no, try a strategic redirect.

If you have a hard time saying no to people’s requests, hearing someone tell you to protect your time by “just saying no” isn’t helpful. You have to find a phrase that makes saying no easy for you. Easy = it makes you feel less bad than outright saying no (lol).

Replace “I’ll handle/do it” with:

• “Here’s what we should do”

• “Let me check with my team”

• “Let me look at my calendar and get back to you”

• “I don’t have the capacity to take that on this quarter, but check back in with me next quarter”

All of these responses reposition you as a strategic leader and a good model for your team.

High achievers default to “I’ll just handle it” because it’s faster and easier in the moment. But every time you absorb work that belongs to someone else, you rob them of the chance to grow and you keep yourself stuck.

The client I mentioned at the top? She now has documented roles her team is held to, coaching conversations instead of triage sessions in her 1:1s, and a way of redirecting work upward that her bosses actually respect. She was worried they'd all push back. They didn't. They respected her decisions and recommendations. Clarity creates trust. And trust creates influence.

THIS WEEK’S REFRAMED SPONSORED BY BLOMMA

You might be thinking why the heck is Reframed sponsored by an AI company? Is Ashley pulling a Reese Witherspoon/Mel Robbins on us?! No, I’m not. I believe relationships are still what make you hireable, promotable, and retainable. I also believe that executive-level support shouldn’t just be reserved for executives, that’s why I write Reframed each week. I like the team at Blomma because they believe these things too, they just happen to be using AI to tackle the problem of scaling exec support to more employees. If you’re curious about it, use the code ASHLEY to try it.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Last week was a lot. I had a panel to prep for, a newsletter to write, our first Insiders call, five coaching sessions, and a breakfast downtown for the Blomma launch. That doesn’t even include all my other meetings and the 6 hours I spent getting my hair braided on Monday (lol). There were moments where I genuinely wasn’t sure I’d have enough time to do any of it well.

But I carved out 90 minutes to get downtown for the breakfast, rushed back for a coaching call, and showed up fully for both. The panel happened. The newsletter got written. The Insiders call was one of my favorite hours of the week.

None of it happened because I found extra time. It happened because I got intentional about the time I had.

Sometimes you’re not going to find more hours but when you start thinking about how to reinvest the time you do have, you’ll be surprised what you can actually fit in. An hour that’s more productive because you raised the bar for your team is an hour better spent. The 1 min it takes to respond with “let me check with my team” instead of “I’ll handle it” is 1 min better invested and additional time you don’t have to spend doing the thing you would have committed to otherwise. It’s how you set yourself and your team up to win.

What's one thing sitting in your inbox right now that should be passed along to someone on your team?

Good luck! See you next week.

Ashley

I’m an executive coach that supports high achieving Directors, VP, and C-level executives with career strategy. You can also hire me to facilitate workshops.

Subscribe to Reframed Insiders.

Reframed Insiders is a paid membership where you get direct access to me through: monthly live group coaching calls and if you can’t attend the calls, you’ll have access to a video library with all of them + my summaries and insights :)

It’s $35/mo or $250/year.

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Last week, I wrote about reframing perfectionism. And why high achievers aren’t your typical “perfectionists”, they just care. That reframe made me stop apologizing for my frustrations at work and managing them proactively instead. If you missed it, read it here.

People who use hedging language (”sort of,” “I think,” “kind of”) were rated significantly less credible and competent than those who spoke directly. Here’s how to project confidence, even when you don’t feel very confident.

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People with high self-esteem earn up to $28,000 more per year1. Separate research from the Institute for the Study of Labor found that people with higher self-esteem earn 13–18% more than their peers, even after controlling for education and ability.

Confidence is more than a nice to have.

Projecting confidence, even when you don’t feel it, is a skill. Particularly one that high achievers need to learn, to undo the impact of being taught to be humble, hard work oriented, and grateful for opportunities.

If I were to write a memoir about my early career, I would probably name it The Ambitious Woman Who Wanted To Speak Up, But Chose To Overthink Instead.

In my 20s and early 30s, I used to sit in meetings holding back my observations and input on things I’d actually thought through. Instead of speaking up, I’d hold onto my bright ideas and let the moment pass. To make myself feel better about it, I’d tell myself what I had to say wasn’t important enough to take up time. There was always someone more senior who deserved the airtime or something bigger on the agenda than what I had to share.

I’d tell myself that when the time was right, I would speak up.

I was wrong.

But, when I took an honest look at myself two things were holding me back. Sometimes I just didn't feel confident enough, so I said nothing. Other times I did speak up and I stumbled. Because I rarely spoke up, I was out of practice and resorted to behaviors showed a lack of confidence like over-explaining, hedging, and walking back my ideas. By the time I finished talking, I hadn’t landed my point at all. Both issues stemmed from a lack of confidence.

What I had to learn, slower than I’d like to admit, was that you don’t become confident and then start taking up space. You take up space and then become more confident.

I had to make my work and my ideas visible before other people were going to do it.

I was working with a client recently who had the exact same pattern. She found herself sitting in meetings with real things to contribute but week over week talked herself out of sharing them, not out of fear, but because she’d decided they weren’t important enough.

We came up with a clear plan for what to do differently. She tried it. It landed.

This week I’m sharing two strategies you can try to project confidence when you’re just not feeling it but you need to push through anyway.

INSIGHTS

2 Things To Try This Week To Feel More Confident

1. Stop explaining your wins

You know when someone says you did a great job or asked how you pulled off a successful project and your answer sounds something like:

”So basically what happened was the rebrand kind of fell into my lap because my manager was on leave and nobody else was available, so I stepped in and sort of took it over and it ended up going really well.”

Instead of:

Thank you I’m really proud of the work we did on the rebrand. Leading it was a highlight for me last quarter.

Do you see the difference?

The first version is someone justifying why they were allowed to lead. The second is a leader stating a fact and being gracious. William O’Barr coined the term powerless speech. He found that trial witnesses who used hedging language (”sort of,” “I think,” “kind of”) were rated significantly less credible and competent than those who spoke directly, even when saying the same thing! The pattern was later replicated in professional settings.

Words mean things.

Laurie Rudman also found that people who claim credit directly are perceived as more competent, even if it feels socially uncomfortable to them. Over-explaining might feel comfortable and even humble but it actively signals low confidence to the listener.

Take this as your sign to stop over-explaining your accomplishments this week.

2. Speak up in the first five minutes of a meeting

The longer you wait to say something in a meeting, the harder it gets. And before you know it the meeting ends and you’ve said nothing again.

Instead, decide that you’re going to say something in the first five minutes and prep talking points. You don’t have to say the most brilliant thing. Aim to ask a question, build on someone’s point, or make an observation.

A clear point of view projects confidence. Silence doesn’t.

The client I mentioned earlier? The plan we made was exactly this simple. We decided what she’d say and when she’d say it. She went in with that one clear thing to contribute and it worked.

There’s a reason why I pushed her on this. Bernard Bass's group dynamics research found that how much you talk in a group is one of the strongest predictors of being perceived as a leader, independent of the actual quality of what's said.

And before this turns into a conversation about introverts vs. extroverts and what introverts can’t do. The way I think about this as someone introverted is there are things that you’re naturally inclined to do (like listening vs. speaking up) and things that you have to put effort into doing well. And for some people, speaking up requires preparation and effort, but it’s doable.

RESOURCES

All of this aligns with power dynamics in the workplace. If you’re curious about how power works at work (heh), I highly recommend Power: Why Some People Have It and Others Don’t. There’s a chapter about women and it being impossible to “have it all”. It didn’t age well, but the rest is great.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Oftentimes people think, when I feel confident, I’ll ask for a promotion, advocate for myself, speak up in meetings, or look for new opportunities. Not only are they wrong, they have it completely backwards.

You build confidence by taking action.

Every single time you push yourself to take action, speak up, or confront something you’ve been putting off, you’re proving to yourself that you can do it. With confidence.

Confidence is not something you arrive at after enough experience, enough validation, or enough time. It’s a practice, built one rep at a time.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

One more thing, join Reframed Insiders.

We meet for the first time this week on Thursday at 4:30pm EST. We’ll be unpacking concepts like this one and getting into other real-life scenarios. If you've been thinking about joining, now’s your chance.

And if you’re new here I’m an executive coach that supports high achieving Directors, VP, and C-level executives with career strategy. Typically, I work with clients 1:1 but I just launched a new monthly group coaching program, join us :)

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Last week my friend Sammy, Senior Director of Accounting Operations, shared advice on how to effectively work with the C-suite. We basically peeled back the layers on becoming the person that c-level leaders want to meet with every week.

PS - There’s a special Reframed update at the end of this newsletter :)

One conversation made me stop apologizing for getting frustrated at work. Here’s what changed and why it’s effective.

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I was frustrated yesterday, so I found myself about to click “cancel” on my morning yoga class. But instead of giving in, I went. My Sunday instructor is the perfect kind of crazy, insisting that she has to kill us so that we can earn our corpse pose (Shavasana).

I’m glad she did.

Somewhere in Shavasana, I thought about one of the best pieces of advice I ever received at work.

Early in my leadership journey, I was thrust into a tense situation with an unhappy executive. Every instinct told me to fight for my life. I went into full on defense mode — over-explaining, getting snippy, digging in. After I came up for air, I was embarrassed. My 1:1 was the next day and I walked in ready to get lectured.

That’s not what happened.

I started the meeting by apologizing before my manager could say a word. I almost fell out of my chair when I realized he wasn’t angry about my little shenanigans the day before. He told me my reaction was a sign that I cared and that caring was a good thing.

He was right.

And I don’t think he realized how much those words meant, because I finally felt seen. “Defensive,” “combative,” and “emotional” were all labels that could’ve easily been lobbed at me. It’s not lost on me that they often are, especially at women that look like me.

But he didn’t go there.

Btw - women are roughly 11 times more likely than men to be labeled “abrasive,” seven times more likely to be called “opinionated,” and twice as likely to be described as “unlikeable”.

He saw what was underneath: a desire to do great work. He then challenged me to channel that energy differently in the future, to have a conversation instead of firing off emails. Not because that was the “right” way, but because he trusted me to care as much about the solution as I did about the problem.

I’ve repeated that advice more times than I can count throughout my career (and I still do) because it’s so relevant for high achievers. Hearing those words that day made me understand myself, it helped me give myself grace, and it helped me stop being ashamed when I felt frustrated about work.

He changed everything for me, in just two sentences.

THE RESEARCH

What Personality Research Reveals About High Achievers

Frustration at work gets misread all the time. Perfectionism. Rigidity. Being high-strung. If you’ve been called any of those things, you probably treat them like a character flaw — something to fix, to manage, to hide.

But in my experience, the more accurate label for high achievers is simpler: you care.

You care about the work, about quality, about the people around you. And when you think about it that way, the challenge becomes learning what to do with your intensity.

Most workplaces solve for the wrong problem, leaders wait for bad behavior to surface before addressing it. By then, you’re already under stress, already running hot, already getting told to “stay positive.” Toxic positivity fills the gap that honest conversations and candid feedback should occupy. It doesn’t help anyone.

I recently started using a personality diagnostic called Deeper Signals with my clients. It’s built on the Five Factor Model (the most scientifically validated framework for understanding personality at work) and was developed using data from over 150,000 working adults across 180 countries. The assessment identifies your core drivers and, more importantly, your risks: what happens to those drivers when you’re under pressure.

Unsurprisingly, most of my clients share the following core drivers: Disciplined, Driven, Passionate. These are the kinds of traits that build great careers. But what I love the most about Deeper Signals is that the assessment also names the blind spots associated with those strengths. When under pressure, someone with the Disciplined core driver has a high risk of seeming Rigid. And someone with a Passionate core driver under pressure? They run the risk of seeming Intense.

When high achievers are under pressure, their strengths show up as non-productive workplace behaviors.

Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, a professor of organizational psychology at Columbia and UCL and one of the tool's founders, describes personality as "a set of default settings rather than an immutable operating system." I agree. The times you’re uncharacteristically too emotional, too rigid, too intense? They’re really just expressions of your core drivers under stress. The way to solve that isn’t pretending to be zen all the time or by aiming to never get upset or frustrated at work, it’s knowing how to channel those feelings differently.

That's exactly what my manager was telling me in that 1:1 all those years ago. And it's what made the difference for me.

THE FRAMEWORK

How To Handle 3 Scenarios Where You Might Be Tempted to Be Rigid, Frustrated, or Intense

The advice my manager gave me that day didn't come with a manual. He gave me the reframe (your frustration is a sign you care) and trusted me to figure out the rest. What I've learned since then, through years of coaching high achievers through their own versions of that moment, is that developing self awareness and breaking your old patterns is the hard part. So I wanted to share three situations where frustration tends to show up at work and the productive and nonproductive ways to handle each.

Scenario 1: Your manager gives you zero feedback

If you’re in a situation where your manager doesn’t give you feedback, it can leave you wondering whether you’re on the right track or completely off it.

• The nonproductive response: This situation makes it tempting to fill the silence with stories you've made up. You assume no news is bad news. You tell yourself they're too busy, too passive, or that they don't support you. Before you know it, you're not focused on solving anything. You're just focused on your needs not getting met. The stories feed your anxiety slowly and eat away at your confidence over time. Your manager becomes the problem that you fixate on.

• The productive response: Channel that frustration into solving the actual problem, which is: how do I get feedback? You want to make the ask small enough so that your manager can actually answer it. Stay away from broad questions like "how do you think I'm doing?". Questions like that are too open ended, too loaded, too easy to deflect with "you're doing great." Instead try the “2 and 2 approach”. Say something like: “I’ve been here two months and I feel good about the work I’m doing. I’d love to get your perspective on two things I’m doing well and two areas I should stay focused on.”

Two and two. That’s it. Specific enough to get real answers. The use of “focus on” is purposeful, particularly if you have a manager that shies away from giving direct feedback. “Focus” is approachable enough that even the most passive manager can respond.

Remember: you don’t need a performance review to get feedback, nor should you wait an entire year to know how you’re doing! You just need to ask for it in a way that makes it easy to give.

Scenario 2: You’re handed an ambiguous project with no clear direction

There will likely be times when your manager drops something on your desk unexpectedly, a big presentation, a market entry strategy, a new initiative and the instructions are essentially: figure it out. There’s no framework. No guardrails. Just the assignment and the expectation that you’ll deliver.

• The nonproductive response: The problem you're actually trying to solve is the ambiguity itself. Your instinct is to get clear, so you ask for more direction. It feels responsible. Conscientious even. But I need to be honest with you, sometimes ambiguity isn’t an accident. At your level, the ability to exercise judgment in unclear situations IS your job. Asking for a detailed roadmap can backfire against you and signal you’re not quite operating at a senior leadership level yet.

• The productive response: Accept the ambiguity and solve the real problem — delivering on the ask. Use your judgment, put together a first draft, and give yourself time to gather feedback. Then share it: “I put the market entry plan together. I’d love to walk you through my thinking and get feedback before presenting to the leadership team.”

Scenario 3: You’re frustrated with how a leader operates

Maybe they’re scattered. Maybe they’re exacting to the point of being utterly exhausting. Maybe they make decisions in ways that feel arbitrary, slow, or political. Whatever the flavor, you’ve decided they’re doing it wrong and you’re spending your energy being frustrated about it.

• The nonproductive response: The problem you're trying to solve is their leadership style, as if getting them to operate differently is the goal. Oop! Been there, it’s tempting. The problem here is that you assume your way is right because it works for you. So you keep running your process, communicating your way, operating on your timeline, and waiting for them to come around. They won't. And the friction you're creating is hurting you more than them.

• The productive response: The real problem to solve is building a productive working relationship. Get curious about what they actually need instead of what you think they should want. What does this leader care most about? What makes them trust someone? What do they need from you to feel confident in the work? The answers become your roadmap. Not for becoming someone you're not, but for building enough relationship capital to actually influence how things get done.

The leaders who navigate difficult personalities best prioritize relationships over being right and then use that relationship to move things in the right direction.

Looking back, that manager gave me more than grace that day; he handed me a playbook.

He didn’t just help me understand myself, he was also signaling something else: that he expected me to solve problems, not just defend myself. To have an impact, not just opinions and criticism. It seems small but it’s the difference between being seen as reactive and someone who’s seen as a leader.

He gave me control over my reputation and how I showed up with my peers and execs.

If you care that something went wrong or that you were misunderstood, I’d bet money that you’re also equally as invested in caring about the solution too. Channel your care productively.

Good luck!

Ashley

P.S.

What’s a label you’ve been given at work that you’re ready to change?

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One more thing, Reframed Insiders is here.

If you’re paying attention you may have noticed that there’s an “upgrade to paid” button on my newsletter now. I launched a new tier called Reframed Insiders!

The reality is, I can’t coach everyone 1:1. So, I designed Insiders — a space where you can get critical career advice, when you need it. You’ll continue to get access to my ideas every week on Reframed BUT as an Insider, you’ll also get access to my time. You’ll receive:

• A monthly Insiders-only Zoom: you bring your real career questions (live or anonymous submission) and I coach you through them on a group call. Our first one is on May 7th at 4:30pm EST (get ready!), you’ll get a calendar invite when you subscribe.

• A growing video library: you’ll have exclusive access to every recorded Insiders session. If you miss one, don’t worry - the archive is available to you.

• 20% off Deep Dive Sessions: Need 1:1 time with me? Insiders receive priority booking access for one-off coaching sessions: one hour, one problem, one clear path forward.

• Direct access to me: DM me and drop questions in the Reframed chat on Substack. Plus, you’ll also be able to share opportunities with other Insiders - build your network.

It’s $175/yr for the next 72 hours, after that it goes up to $250/yr.

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Ailey says “join Insiders”!!!

Last week, I spoke to Heather D’Angelo about her epic career journey that includes: founding an indie band that was featured on Twin Peaks, founding a luxury perfume brand, and now leading brand and communications for an AI company. We talked about AI, how she sees her career, and what makes leaders stand out these days. It’s worth a read.

C-Suite leaders get energized by people who make them think, who ask the right questions and level with them. Walk in ready to be that person.

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BACKGROUND STORY

How I nailed my first 1:1 with my CEO

As a manager, I took on a high visibility project and ended up on the CEO’s radar. The CEO (let’s call him Bob) wanted to make sure that my vision was aligned with his, so he put a surprise invite on my calendar. This meeting was the first time I’d have any one-to-one exposure with a member of the C-suite. Bob had a reputation for being short on patience and sometimes too direct.

I texted my friends for help.

I decided there was only one logical thing to do: immediately start working on a slide deck and talking points.

When the day came, I walked into the meeting nervous but confident I’d done all the “right” things to prepare.

I sat down and whipped out my laptop. I couldn’t wait for him to see how smart I was.

I put Keynote into presentation mode, beaming with pride at the first few slides, they mimicked the progression of his monthly all hands presentations. I kicked off our meeting with the company vision. Except, I mistakenly used a slide deck template with the old vision statement.

He noticed.

He looked at me….slightly incredulous and said “that vision statement is from 2 years ago”.

I wanted to close my laptop, get up, and quietly slink out of that windowless conference room. But I didn’t.

I pushed through, clicking through slide after slide. Although my confidence was rattled, I still landed my talking points. It just…didn’t feel like a dialogue, I felt like I was delivering a presentation to an audience of one.

Then, he paused me. He wanted my thoughts about something new happening in the industry. I was candid: “it’s an interesting concept but it’s not going to move the needle.”

THAT caught his attention.

I could offer that insight because I'd done more than curate information for our meeting, I'd formed a POV. We exchanged a few more ideas. And now, instead of leaning back in his chair looking bored like before (lol), he leaned in.

I couldn’t have predicted what he did next.

He grabbed my laptop and clicked through my deck, stopping on the slides that mattered to him so that we could discuss them further.

He walked out of the room and told the rest of the c-suite that he was excited about where I would take that line of business. I walked out of that room still slightly spiraling over my vision statement snafu.

Then someone put me out of my misery and told me that he was thrilled with how the meeting went.

The meeting went well because of my ability to think on my feet, not the slide deck I agonized over.

I grew that line of business 5x in one year after that conversation.

BOOK A CONSULT →

Research in HBR found that companies now prioritize strong social skills above technical expertise and financial stewardship when hiring executives. The ability to navigate conversations with the C-suite isn't a nice-to-have. It’s a key factor in your ability to advance to senior levels of leadership. If you want to level up your exec comms, book a consult with me.

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How to have an effective 1:1 with someone in the C-suite

I knew immediately that I wanted my friend Sammy to weigh in on this topic. He’s a Senior Director of Finance with 20+ years of experience across luxury fashion (Diane Von Furstenberg, Frette), law, and corporate finance at General Assembly. Sammy has navigated C-suite relationships across every type of organization you can imagine. He has a knack for cementing himself as irreplaceable. Not just because of his expertise (he’s incredible at what he does, okay!), but because of his ability to say the right things at the right time to the right people.

Here's what Sammy and I recommend when it comes to having effective conversations with the C-suite:

1. They don't need the details. They need you to translate them into something meaningful.

Sammy puts it simply: “Executives care most about how your work drives the company forward, manages risk, or saves money.” So be prepared to quickly and confidently share a top-level read out about what’s happening on your team. What are the wins? What are the issues and how are you planning to solve them? How does all of it connect to company goals? This is the prep that matters.

If you’re struggling with zooming out, try this framework for structuring your thoughts:

1. Here’s what I’m seeing → “Two of our Q3 deliverables are at risk because they’re getting stuck in the approval stage.”

2. Here’s what I’m doing about it → “I flagged it for the finance team, their main approver is swamped with another initiative, so they shifted the responsibility to another team member with capacity.”

3. Here’s how it impacts the organization → “This keeps us on track for the Q3 launch and protects the revenue tied to it.”

That’s the whole playbook.

2. Come prepared, but be ready to throw your plan out the window.

This is critical. Sammy adds: don’t use this time for routine updates that could have been an email. Use it to solve tough problems. When you show that you understand their pressures and speak their language of “results,” you move from being just a staff member to a reliable partner.

Execs are constantly context switching. The most pressing thing on their radar last Monday may have shifted down their priority list by this week. That doesn’t mean they’re not thinking strategically. It just means their context changed. Bring an agenda but know they may want your thought partnership on something more pressing.

3. Don't walk out without answers to your urgent items.

Flexibility is a good thing, but don’t abandon urgent items on your own issues list in service of theirs. If things are moving fast, interject with something like: “I have something I need your input on. Do you want to start with your items or can we tackle mine quickly first?”

That’s how peers talk to peers, it’s not overstepping.

FACILITATING EFFECTIVE C-SUITE 1:1s BY SAMUEL COLON →

And, like most of the overachievers I know, Sammy made a screenshottable chart to highlight how best to communicate, problem solve, and give feedback like an executive. I found the common mistakes column particularly useful.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

The right mindset is the key to effective communication; having good meetings with C-suite executives is no different. Walk into those meetings as if you are a peer (even if you don’t share a title), because you have information and insights they genuinely need.

The moment you enter a conversation afraid to take up space, they no longer see you as a strategic partner. They see someone who needs to be mentored, guided, and developed. Someone who still needs to grow. And if you’re reading Reframed, I know that’s not how you want to be seen.

C-suite leaders get energized by people who make them think, who ask the right questions, and level with them. Walk in ready to be that person.

Thank you to Sammy for graciously sharing his thoughts. What surprised you most?

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

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Join readers from Netflix, Google, Uber, Chanel, LinkedIn, and Sephora. I share fresh leadership and career insights every Monday, right before you tackle the rest of your week.

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Last week, I wrote a Q&A where I answered common questions that readers and clients alike has asked me recently. If you’re wanting to know what it takes to be a VP, how to stop defaulting to accepting work, and how to reinvent yourself in your job search.

“The human thing that AI will never replace is the discernment it takes to edit, to decide what’s meaningful and worth keeping. When everyone has access to the same AI tools, what differentiates the gold from the slop over time is taste.” - Heather D’Angelo

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I posted a note this weekend about getting married 6 months ago. The morning I was getting ready to head to City Hall was great…until it wasn’t. My makeup artist cancelled on me (lol disaster) and I had no time to pull together a plan B, so I did my makeup myself. On my way out the door, I dabbed my wrists with a scent from Carta. I was anything but calm, cool, and collected. I was frantic, flustered, annoyed. Picture me in the back of an Uber SUV practicing deep “woosahs”, praying, hoping somehow that I could stop concentrating on the very basic makeup job I had to do on myself.

Anywho, I didn't know it at the time but a little piece of the Dalmation Coast was sitting right on my wrists. The scent chilled me out.

I texted the photographer to not do any extreme closeups of my face, threw on my sunglasses, and the day went on without anymore glitches.

Looking back, I have to thank for that little zen moment. The perfume I wore was a gift from her. Carta is her company, a perfume brand she runs while also leading brand and communications for a company in the AI space.

And, there's so much more to her story.

FROM INDIE BAND TO HEAD OF BRAND & COMMS

What exactly is a “non-linear career path”?

A lot of my clients come to me with zig zag career paths, trying to fit the pieces together but not sure it all makes sense. When this happens we try to identify themes and transferable skills. One of my clients calls this portability — the idea that your most marketable skills travel with you through every role, every industry, every pivot not just your job titles or scope. It's the underlying way you think, lead, communicate, and operate. I remember having a similar conversation with Heather about her career when we started working together last year. Her career has lots of twists and turns and there’s not one wasted chapter in her story. Let’s start at the beginning.

She went to Parsons, then cofounded an indie band named Au Revoir Simone. They released four albums, toured the world, and ended up on Twin Peaks because David Lynch liked their music. Casual.

Then she was ready for a change. She decided to go back to school to study tropical ecology at Columbia where she did fieldwork in Indonesian Borneo. During one of our coaching sessions, she casually mentioned that Neil DeGrasse Tyson chose her to work closely with him. No big deal! For some people, their career highlights would stop there, but not Heather.

She started a fragrance company built around an essential oil that had never been used in perfume, sourced from a conservation NGO in the Peruvian Amazon. That perfume was featured in Vogue, Vanity Fair, Forbes, and the Coveteur (to name a few). Now she's at Unlearn, running brand and communications for a company building AI for clinical trials.

Heather is a true artist and creative, and she’s also someone wholeheartedly commits to her craft. So much so, that she becomes excellent at everything she decides to do.

Heather and I have been sliding into each other's DMs for months — sharing articles, our hot takes, and things that made us nervous or excited about AI. I love her insights, so I wanted to bring the convo to Reframed. Here’s some fresh perspectives on AI from one of the coolest people I know.

A Q&A on Careers & AI with Heather D’Angelo

I spoke to Heather about how the AI space has shifted, what to do if you feel left behind, and what AI is good and bad at. Here’s what she shared with me.

I was curious to hear more about the AI whiplash we’re experiencing now, going from a world where the general public had no idea what AI was a few years ago to today where it feels like AI is in every headline. Here's what she said.

My first intro to AI came years before it was something people talked about every day, when I was the comms director at an ecology research center at Arizona State University. Much of my job entailed writing about how researchers used early ML to derive patterns from very large ecological datasets. Back then, I wrote under the assumption that my audience likely had no idea what machine learning was so I kept it high-level and focused on communicating the impact of the work.

But then four years ago, I started working at an AI startup in healthcare, and I had to start talking about the models themselves and thinking more deeply about how to do that to a general audience, especially one that had either never heard of AI, or had and were skeptical that it could be helpful in my highly-regulated industry. Even an early as three years ago, it was an uphill battle for comprehension. What’s changed most dramatically is that people now have firsthand experience with it from tools like ChatGPT. I feel like the conversation has shifted almost overnight (hence the whiplash). I now spend less time writing about AI from a defensive standpoint. Our customers are asking more practical questions, generally less dismissive/more curious because they’ve interacted with the technology themselves.

I feel like all we hear about is AI is coming to take everyone’s jobs and if you aren’t using it, your career is at risk. We’ve seen the impact on new grads and how much hiring has slowed for senior leaders. That’s scary. So I asked Heather about what to do if you feel behind.

I think what might feel overwhelming to people who feel behind is that they somehow need to “learn AI,” when the best way to learn is through use. Just pick a model (my favorite service these days is Perplexity) and leverage it like a thinking partner. You’ll start to develop a sense of what it’s good at, where it’s unreliable, and how to direct it.

There’s also just a ton of tutorials out there.

This is a great one for Claude Cowork:

How to AI

Cowork.

Read more

5 months ago · 2642 likes · 1054 comments · Ruben Hassid

Even though everyone is talking about it, AI use cases still seem pretty ambiguous. I’m always curious to know how and why people use it to streamline their work, so I asked Heather to share some examples of how she’s using it as a marketer in a scientific/heavily technical field.

At this stage of my life, I feel like my brain is all RAM and no hard drive. I’m 46, perimenopausal, raising two toddlers, and deep in brain fog most days. So I’ve started using LLMs as a kind of external hard drive for my work. I upload many of my most important internal documents into a project space and then use the model to cross-reference them. I write all of our external-facing materials, so I’m responsible for ensuring scientific and technical accuracy. I use LLMs like a searchable database, pointing me directly to the documents where specific facts live.

For example, we recently updated our ML model for Alzheimer’s disease. I needed to write several pieces about the update, and one key question was which clinical endpoints were included in the previous version of the model versus the new one. Instead of manually digging through years of documentation, I was able to quickly surface the exact internal documents where those details were discussed, so I could fact-check my writing.

The other way I use LLMs a lot is to help me break down extremely technical material. We recently developed a new ML model in oncology, and the founders wrote a deep-dive white paper explaining the science behind it. To be honest, the first time I read it felt like reading Greek. But Gemini walked me through the concepts step by step. That allowed me to come back to our founders with much more informed questions when it came time to write external-facing materials.

What’s interesting (and a little sad) is that before LLM tools, I would just Slack our scientists and schedule interviews with them, and to be honest, that’s still my favorite part of the job. It’s the reason I wanted to go into science communication in the first place. I love talking to scientists and learning about what they’re working on.But now that I’m at a startup, I’m much more protective of our scientists’ time. Everyone is incredibly busy. Using an LLM lets me do a lot of my homework before I ask them questions, so the conversations are much more focused and productive, and I think they appreciate that.

There are so many hot takes out there about what AI is good at. I was particularly interested in Heather’s perspective as an artist. Bridging creative and technical worlds gives her a pretty unique POV on where the technology shines and where it still has significant gaps. Here’s what she thinks AI is genuinely good at and where it sucks.

AI is genuinely excellent at synthesis. If you give it a body of information/data and ask it to identify patterns, summarize themes, or explain something at different levels of complexity, it’s incredibly powerful. But it sucks at discernment and taste. For instance, I’ve experimented a bit with making music with AI, and I was blown away by the seemingly endless variations it could generate that all sound stylistically correct, but (in my opinion) are emotionally vacant. I’ve heard there are some AI-generated “musicians” topping Spotify’s charts, so I think there’s obviously an audience for anything. But for me, the human thing that AI will never replace is the discernment it takes to edit, to decide what’s meaningful and worth keeping. When everyone has access to the same AI tools, what differentiates the gold from the slop over time is taste. That gives me faith in humanity during this AI-fueled existential crisis.

I agree we have to lean into our humanity:

Good Work

rage against the machine

Welcome to Good Work - your weeklyish work therapy appointment…

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5 months ago · 70 likes · 16 comments · mallory contois

The one thing I really wanted to know and, honestly the thing most people are losing sleep over is: “Is AI coming for all our jobs?”

There’s a lot of anxiety in the public conversation right now about AI replacing humans, and I understand why. Some of the projections about job disruption are pretty dramatic. At the same time, I’m aware that I may also be a little bit inside the bubble because I work with these tools every day. Personally, I don’t feel like AI is about to replace me. Those might be famous last words, I really don’t know! But using these systems regularly, I’ve seen both their strengths and their limitations. They’re incredibly powerful in certain ways, but they still depend heavily on human judgment and context. So my instinct right now is cautiously optimistic? I think we’re going to need humans in the loop for a long time, especially in work that requires interpretation, communication, and judgment. As this technology continues to evolve, I’m sure my perspective will keep evolving with it.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Heather’s takes made me feel more solid in my own POV on AI that I hadn’t shared here in a while. The most portable career asset you have right now is judgment. It’s the ability to walk into any room, assess what’s happening, and know what needs to be said or done next. That’s not yet something AI can replicate. It’s all you.

AI can synthesize. It can surface patterns from mountains of data faster than any of us but it can’t decide what matters.

Your judgment is portable. Protect it. Develop it. Lead with it.

If you’re considering a career change and need help weaving together the pieces of your own journey, let me know how I can help.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

One more thing, subscribe to Reframed.

Join readers from Netflix, Google, Uber, Chanel, LinkedIn, and Sephora. I share fresh leadership and career insights every Monday, right before you tackle the rest of your week.

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Happy Monday, friends! Here’s what I did over the weekend.

Last week, I wrote about how important it is to use language that reflects how high-level your work actually is. I can’t tell you how many times I talk to high achievers who think the key to getting promoted is taking on additional work, when the real solution is improving how they talk about their current work. Mind blowing. If you’re angling for a promotion, you’ll want to read it.

Taking ownership of your career requires you to decide who you want to be before other people do.

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I’m doing a Q&A this week. You’ve got questions, I’ve got answers.

One of my favorite things to do is help people find the right solutions to their career challenges. Every week, I hear from ambitious, talented professionals who are stuck. Not because they aren’t good enough (they almost always are) but because they’re playing a waiting game without realizing it. Waiting to be recognized. Waiting for the right moment to go after a new opportunity. Waiting for someone to hand them the title they’ve already earned.

This week’s Q&A is about what happens when you stop waiting.

I selected four common challenges that were shared with me (through this newsletter) or that I’ve helped clients work through. One mindset shift is powering every single one of my responses → taking ownership of your career requires you to decide who you want to be before other people do.

CHALLENGE #1

Q: I want to stop taking on tasks that should be done by others on my team. What are the actual phrases I need to use in meetings to stop me from volunteering to take on more work?

When you’re in a conversation with an executive and they share a problem with you, you should respond with:

• Here’s what we should do…

• The best way to solve this problem is…

• Let me check my team’s capacity and get back to you…

Say these instead of “I’ll handle it” or “I’ll do it”. When you’re Director level and above, it can be very tempting to take on things that come up in conversations with your manager (or other execs). You do this because you want to be helpful, you’re a natural problem solver. But that’s not what they want from you. When colleagues or executives surface a problem, they’re looking to you for direction on what to do about it.

So, instead of defaulting to “doer mode” I want you to imagine them prefacing their statements with “tell me what to do about…[insert problem here]”. Once you see it this way, you can’t unsee it. You will hear some version of “tell me what to do” constantly.

The three phrases above only take 5-seconds to say but they position you as a strategic problem solver instead of a task taker. The best part? You can walk out of the room and hand the work to someone on your team who is better suited to do it.

WORK WITH ME

If you're still defaulting to "I'll handle it" more than you'd like, Elevate is my 1:1 coaching program for directors and executives who are ready to start leading differently. Click the button to learn more →

EXPLORE ELEVATE

CHALLENGE #2

Q: How do I get my leadership to see me as VP material?

Here’s a quick way to find out if you’re already operating at the VP level. Answer honestly (you don’t even need your manager’s input for this!).

VP CHECKLIST:

1. Do you go into meetings with a clear point of view? Y / N

2. When your boss brings you a problem, do you respond with your recommendation instead of questions intended to get direction from them? Y / N

3. Can you articulate how your work connects to the company’s business goals, not just your team’s goals? Y / N

4. Are you spending more time evaluating and directing work than doing it yourself? Y / N

5. When your calendar fills up, are you protecting time for strategic work instead of saying yes to everything and stretching yourself too thin? Y / N

If you answered “No” to 3 or more of these, those are the exact areas you need to improve on. Don’t be discouraged, use this as a helpful guideline for being able to pinpoint exactly what you need to change.

Executives don’t create a VP layer to reward performance. They create it because they need leaders who: hold a clear point of view, make sound data-backed decisions without being hand-held, think enterprise wide, and get other people to do great work. Doing all of this requires a change in approach.

Most people are asking the wrong question. It isn’t “have I earned it?” The question is: “Am I already operating like a VP?”

Simple.

If you want a deeper dive, I wrote about a topic that is equally as important for getting to VP. It’s about leveraging political capital to fuel your advancement.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT →

CHALLENGE #3

Q: I’ve done a variety of roles over the past few years. How do I decide what I want to do next?

Not knowing what you want next is extremely common among high achievers. You've spent your career problem solving, saying yes to stretch opportunities, and delivering. Problem solving translates across departments, functions, and titles. That’s exactly why there’s so much variety on your resume.

Since most high achievers are capable of pursuing multiple paths, I created a career filter that helps you uncover which path is worth pursuing next.

Here’s how it works:

1. Look back before looking forward. You aren’t the same person that you were three roles ago. Start by identifying areas that you’ve outgrown (the skills that used to excite you but now feel like drudgery, etc). Then write down the work you’ve enjoyed that led to real impact. Think types of projects, your favorite stakeholders, your best deals, etc. Make an exhaustive list.

2. Find your Zone of Genius. Most high achievers are stuck in their Zone of Excellence: things you’re highly skilled at, that people reward you for, but that quietly drain you. Your Zone of Genius is different. It’s where your natural strengths meet your deepest motivations. It’s the work that feels like play to you but is hard work to everyone else. Make a list of what work/tasks are in your Zone of Excellence and after that, describe what types of work fit in your Zone of Genius is. Do you see any similarities with Step 1?

3. Connect with your network. Connect with people in roles and/or industries that are interesting to you. You’ll want to ask them for insights about their work, their companies, or their path. These conversations will give you more data about where you might want to go next. Review your notes from these conversations and take note of what areas interest you, what info confirmed what you no longer want to do, and who could potentially refer you to future opportunities.

Once you work through the above, the right move tends to get obvious pretty quickly. This is what architecting your career looks like, instead of just reacting to it.

CHALLENGE #4

Q: I left corporate leadership to start my own freelance business, it’s been rewarding but I want to go back to corporate. How do I reinvent myself to get back into industry?

I would start by reflecting on what you’ve accomplished over the last 5-10 years in your career (not just your titles/projects). Make an exhaustive list. Once you’re done, analyze the list and see if you can identify any patterns. Those patterns are the problem(s) you love helping companies solve the most.

Here are some examples of some common threads that my clients have identified: scaling marketing or sales teams from scrappy to structured, building creative operations that actually run on time, bringing clarity to the roadmap, improving delivery timelines for technical projects/initiatives, developing talent and culture in orgs that never prioritized it, or translating complex data into decisions that are impactful to the bottom line.

These themes exist whether you’re full-time or freelance. They’re why people want to hire you, even if your titles look disparate on paper. Also, notice how none of them are title or role specific. That’s important.

Once you get clear, two things will happen: you’ll know exactly how to position yourself to hiring managers and you’ll confidently connect with people in your network who can open doors for you. The freelance vs. full-time dichotomy in your story stops being something to explain away. Instead, it becomes proof that you’re great.

That’s how you own your narrative.

If you want more detailed advice about job searching, here’s two newsletters that go deep:

• This one gets into storytelling and positioning your experience

• This one is about overcoming the job search process

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Every answer in this Q&A comes back to the same thing. You have to decide who you are before someone else does it for you. So, who are you this week?

If you feel stuck, let me know how I can help.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

One more thing, subscribe to Reframed.

Join readers from Netflix, Google, Uber, Chanel, LinkedIn, and Sephora. I share fresh leadership and career insights every Monday, right before you tackle the rest of your week.

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Last week, , , and I wrote about the advice we’d give our younger selves. Some of my favorite takeaways from our newsletters were:

• Think about the optics. Work isn’t just about what you do but also about others’ perceptions of you and your work

• Being excellent isn’t enough. Excellent makes you valuable but it doesn’t make you advanceable - I’m going to be thinking about it for the rest of the week

• Sometimes a detour isn’t failure, it’s just strategy. Also invest in relationships - they pay off.

The way you talk about your work just might be keeping you stuck, here’s how to change that.

Subscribe now

Here’s a lesson I’ve seen play out with client after client: the way you talk about your work needs to reflect your impact if you want to continue to advance. When a friend sent me this tweet, I knew I had to write about it.

Low-level language is costing you: (1) the promotion you're qualified for, (2) the raise you've already earned, and even (3) invitations to the strategic conversations you should be invited to.

You can be the hardest working person on your team and still miss these opportunities not because you didn’t earn them, but because you’re using the wrong words to talk about your work.

CONTEXT

What’s “low-level language”?

I’ve found that “low-level language” falls into one of three categories:

Mistake #1: Centering Tasks and/or Activities

This is the most common trap for high-achievers. You lead with describing what you did, not the value your work produced. Describing tasks without impact sounds like:

• “I managed the project, ran the weekly syncs, and coordinated the vendors.” - and what happened as a result?

• “I delivered a presentation to 50 executives.” - and what happened as a result?

• “I built a dashboard.” - yay numbers, but what am I supposed to do with them?

When you’re a really great executer, you develop a habit of talking about your work without outcomes attached, because quite frankly, you don’t have to. Your work is impressive and, up until a certain point in your career, your work really does speak for itself. But this stops working at the Director level.

Mistake #2: Providing Too Much In-the-Weeds Detail

When you try to show your work by listing every step in your process, you signal to executives that you’re an executor and not a leader.

Being too in-the-weeds sounds like:

• “I pulled the data from three systems, then I cleaned it in Excel which took me 3 hours, then I built the pivot table and created all the charts we needed to visualize the data, and then I sent the deck to the executive team.” - great, but why should I care?

This example leaves out the outcome entirely and…it bores everyone with too many details. When you over-explain your work you leave people thinking “omg will he/she/they get to the point already!?”.

Mistake #3: Being Too Vague About Your Improvements

This happens when you’re trying your best to sound like an executive, but you don’t know how to “be strategic”. These statements feel like high-level language on the surface, but don’t say anything substantive at all. No specificity = no credibility.

Being too vague sounds like:

• “I improved processes.” - okay, but how?

• “I drove strategic alignment.” - also okay - but how?

• “I helped move things forward.” - People who are informed see right through this.

Maybe you’re sitting there thinking “okay, but what does good look like?” Maybe you’re even a bit shook after realizing that you’ve made some of these mistakes. It’s okay, I sometimes make them myself and I wrote the playbook!

High-level language is not the ability to string together a bunch of impressive-sounding words.

• Bad → Vague filler language/business slop: “I drove cross-functional synergies to accelerate organizational transformation.” This is bad. Very bad. Meme-worthy.

• Good → High-level language: “I redesigned how the engineering and product teams collaborated on roadmap planning. My work reduced our average new feature development time from 8 weeks to 4.”

High-level language is backed by actual work. You’re drawing a connection between the steps you're taking and the impact your work ultimately has. It’s a skill that takes practice. You’re summarizing the truth, effectively. The detail exists. You’re just leading with what matters.

WHY THIS MATTERS

Reframing Your Work The Right Way Gets You Promoted

A client came to me wanting to prepare for her promotion conversation. The playbook that got her promoted previously wasn’t working anymore. She had spent weeks meticulously building a case — a detailed document comparing herself against every single competency at her current level and the next level. It was thorough. It was organized.

As soon as I read through it, the problem was clear to me: it proved she was doing the work but it didn’t make the case for a promotion. It wasn’t landing for me, so it wasn’t going to land for leadership.

She did what most high-achievers do, they document all their tasks. Every bullet point proved effort. The way that she framed her work actually made it look like she was doing everything without judgment and that gave her leader the impression that she wasn’t managing her time well.

Her impact (the 50% YoY revenue increase she had driven) was buried in the middle of the document, in a sub-bullet.

So we rewrote it and we revised her talking points. She led with the revenue increase. She described the meeting she’d built from scratch that the executive team found incredibly valuable. She named what the company now had because of her (structure, visibility, and the ability to make the right business decisions), not the inner workings of her task list.

She got the promotion.

Her work was never the problem. The language she used to frame her work was.

INSIGHT

High-achievers assume they have to take on more work in order to get promoted, but what they need to do is reframe the great work they’re already doing.

THE FRAMEWORK

2 Strategies for Reframing Your Work As High Impact

If you want a more detailed primer on how to identify your impact, start with my IMPACT Formula. Here's how to start communicating at the level you're actually operating at:

Strategy #1: Use Outcome-First Framing

This is the antidote to both task/activity framing and being too vague about your improvements. When you use outcome-first framing, you don’t center your actions, they’re implied by your results.

Most people can follow directives, so naming your tasks doesn’t impress execs. The ability to inform strategy, make decisions, and steer teams towards the right direction all signal leadership capability. Most often, you’re already doing this but you don’t talk about it like you are.

Outcome-first framing sounds like:

• “I retained 3 at-risk accounts worth $1.2M by restructuring the QBR process.”

• “I shifted the org’s vendor selection approach, which cut procurement costs by 22% this year.”

This framing works because you’re naming the outcome (revenue protected, costs cut), the scope (at-risk accounts, the whole org), and the mechanism (QBR restructure, vendor selection approach). You land your points without listing a single step you took to get there. That combination signals three things at once: you know what matters to the business, you operate at the right altitude, and you were the architect not *just* the executor.

Anyone can manage a vendor or participate in a QBR. Not everyone reshapes how an organization makes decisions or saves $1.2M in the process.

Strategy #2: Signal Complexity Without the Details

You can show the difficulty of what you navigated without listing every step. When you do this well, you convey that you have good judgment and rigor through context, not process. That sounds like:

• “I aligned 4 executive team members and reallocated $2M in our budget, ahead of the Q3 deadline.”

Notice what’s not in that sentence: no meetings listed, no emails mentioned, no process described. But the difficulty is inferred. When you do good work, people don’t need to see how the sausage is made. If you reveal too much, you run the risk of coming across as someone who overcomplicates everything. Don’t undermine yourself by sharing too many details.

Anyway, in this example - you choose to highlight the things that matter: 4 execs, $2M on the line, a hard Q3 deadline. That’s the point. It tells the other person you understand you were in a complex situation and that your approach solved it. That’s leadership.

The in-the-weeds version of the same situation: “I scheduled and facilitated 8 meetings, built a budget model for each meeting, incorporated 5 rounds of feedback, and got everyone aligned before the deadline”. This describes the same work but makes you sound like a project coordinator instead of a leader.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

How you talk about your work shapes your own perception of the value you bring to your organization. It’s a variable you control — it’s leverage.

It shapes how others see you.

Try this this week → read through something you've written or said about your work recently. Then ask yourself my two questions: What happened as a result? Why should anyone care? If your description doesn’t answer those questions outright, then you need to rewrite your story.

If you’re reading Reframed, you’re doing the work. You just have to learn to lead with what matters.

If you feel stuck, let me know how I can help.

Good luck. See you next week!

Ashley

P.S.

Which of these do you catch yourself doing the most?

Leave a comment

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Join readers from Netflix, Google, Uber, Chanel, LinkedIn, and Sephora. I share fresh leadership and career insights every Monday, right before you tackle the rest of your week.

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